Imagine that there is a giant rubber band inside of you. When dissonance is present, the rubber band begins to stretch. As long as the dissonance exists, the band stretches tighter and tighter. You've got to take action before it reaches a breaking point and snaps. The motivation to reduce the tension is what causes us to change; we will do everything in our power to get back in mental balance.

Sleepless And Selfish: Lack Of Sleep Makes Us Less Generous

We like to feel a level of consistency in our day-to-day actions and interactions.  This harmony is the glue that holds everything together and helps us cope with the world and all the decisions we have to make. Dissonance causes us to distort our memories or remember what we want to see or how we want it to happen.  This blurs reality and allows us to cover our mistakes.

Do you want your persuasion to stick?   Do you want your sales never to have buyer’s remorse?  What causes that dissonance or regret for saying yes?   Join me for this week’s podcast on Saving the Sale: Refunds, Regret, And Remorse.  You will discover the techniques used to get those sales to stick.  

Let’s talk about where negotiation fits into the world of persuasion and the difference between the two.  Persuasion occurs when your ideas are so convincing that the other party adopts your point of view.  With persuasion, there is no compromising as there is in negotiation.

While persuasion is the ultimate ideal, anytime any one of us presents our ideas, the other party is often equally committed to their convictions, thus making negotiation the next best path.  When we hear the word “negotiation,” we often think of a complex deal in the business world.  However, in reality, all of us are involved in multiple negotiation processes every day.

10 Hard Bargaining Negotiation Skills

What about negotiating a raise?  What if your boss is going to use those hardball negation tactics?   What do you do?  Join me for this week’s podcast Negotiating A Raise – Mistakes To Avoid.  I will focus on which tools work best, which techniques to avoid, and how to deal with those difficult mean tactics of the other side.

 

Moods affect our thinking, judgment, and willingness to say yes. When the person you are trying to persuade is in a good mood, they are more likely to accept your offer. The opposite is also true. If they're not in a good mood, chances are much higher they won't bite. This is a massive advantage to you when it comes to persuasion. Great persuaders create the right mood.

Leading with Humor

Using humor is the fastest way to get someone in the right state.  Yes it works and yes, you can get better?   Do you get people to laugh?  How about a smile?  Join me on this week’s podcast on How Humor, Happiness, And Mood Increase Sales.  Discover how to use appropriate humor to get your prospect in the right state and easier to influence.

Do you know how long waiting times affect persuasion? Do they bave a negative or positive influence? Listen now to see how waiting is either helping or hurting your persuasion.

Psychology of Waiting Lines

Starbucks still has a problem with long lines

Long Waiting Times Cost You Sales

Many times, when we are trying to be persuasive, we want to highlight all the perks and plusses. It's only natural. Wouldn't helping someone see the potential gains of your product or service be a good thing? Yes, but here is the issue: Your audience will buy for their own reasons and only their reasons.

How managers can spark, not squelch, our motivation

They don't care about why you like the product or service. They don't care how much you know about it—don’t bury them in detail. The more you spout off about features, the more your audience mentally checks out.

Do you think people are trying to flatter you into submission?  Are they using manipulation tactics and want to know how to resist.  Are you seeing signs of gaslighting and feel like they want to take advantage of you?   Let me give you the answers. 

How to Spot Manipulation Tactics, gaslighting, coercion

Join me for this week’s podcast on Resisting Manipulation And GasLighting – The Dark Side of Influence

 

A poll with your prospects found that Trust is at an all-time low.  Their default setting is not to trust you.  In fact, only 12 percent of the prospects trusted their persuaders, while 88 percent of the persuaders felt they had established trust with their audience.  Wow, what a disconnect.

It’s harder to gain credibility nowadays than in the past.

Are you good at what you do? Bragging about it could make people trust you less

Are you credibile?  Are you sure?  You say yes, and your prospects say no.  What are you doing that destroys your credibility?  The answers and science surprised me and will surprise you. 

Join me for this week's webinar on How Being Too Qualified Hurts Trust.

Our task is not only to realize humor’s profound influence but also to develop the necessary skills to use it powerfully and ethically. As you become more and more skilled at incorporating humor into your presentations, you will discover that humor almost always has a place.

Humor puts your audience in a good frame of mind. Your audience is in a good disposition and less likely to disagree with you. When you develop rapport with your audience, they will like you more. Humor also increases trust.

Top commercials of all time
 
The skill of using humor can be learned and mastered, but only with consistent practice. Sometimes you may fail but keep at it until you have harnessed the power to make others laugh. Then others will always feel good when they are in your presence. They will also take what you have to say more seriously. Humor will give you the power to motivate and influence others in a productive, positive way.

shrinkflation examples
 
What else is used to persuade below the radar?  What are companies doing to their slightly deceptive products that you are not even aware of?  How do JND and Shrinkflation sway your thoughts and opinions?  Join me for this week’s podcast on JND, Shrinkflation, Advertising - Brilliant Deception?  You will discover how to persuade below the radar.

Most people don’t address why it is taking so long to achieve their goals or find their success.  The first step is always self-discipline. When we hear the word self-discipline or willpower, we tend to get a little tense, tune out or think about something else.  We think of all our bad habits, things we don’t want to do, or all the times we tried to exercise willpower and failed.  It is something we are constantly working on and can never neglect. 

Cinemark link

How Far Away is the Moon?

What can you do to strengthen your willpower and your self-discipline?  It is easier than you think.  You already have the desire, and you already know you are capable of more.  You know you want more success in your life.

This is a critical life skill.  Are you ready for the next steps?  Join me for this week’s podcast on how to Reprogram Your Brain For Success And Wealth.  You will discover wealth is an open book test, and now it is time for you to have all the answers.

Optimistic persuaders outpersuade pessimistic persuaders every time. Not only is optimism essential to influencing others, but is also a critical for success in life. Optimism is more than a positive mental attitude. It is not constantly saying positive things to yourself and then hoping they will come true. Rather, true optimism is a state of mind that dictates how you look at the world. An optimistic view of life and the world around you can inspire hope and courage in others. We all want to feel inspired and encouraged. When a persuader can deliver this type of message, we want to follow that person. This tendency is how optimism helps you in influencing others.

Pessimism on the other hand is always taking the negative view. Others will consider a pessimist as irritable and always looking for the negative in every situation. Pessimists are the ones who will be the first to complain and tell everyone else that nothing goes right. As a result, they never get the success or recognition they deserve.

Article : A little anger in negotiation pays

Countless studies have shown that optimists do better in school, persuade better, have more friends, perform better in their careers, and live longer than pessimists. Pessimists, on the other hand, frequently battle depression, have fewer friends, find it difficult to persuade, and give up faster and more easily. To illustrate this point, in one study, those who sold insurance were monitored on their optimistic or pessimistic outlook in relation to setbacks. The optimistic persuaders sold more policies and were half as likely to quit.

Great persuaders have what we call “influential optimism.” This means that they see the positive in all situations. Rather than focusing on disappointment, cynicism, or negative feelings, they look for ways to move forward. People want to be persuaded by individuals who have a positive view on life. As an optimist, you see the world as a series of exciting challenges. You inspire positive feelings about everything you stand for. People want to be around you because they live in a very pessimistic world. The optimistic mindset is contagious and helps to empower other people to believe in you and in themselves. As an optimist, you help others see failure or setback as temporary. You have no doubt that success will happen.

Free Book

How did you learn what you know about money? You likely picked it up, a piece here, a tip there. 

You absorbed attitudes from your parents and from the media. You absorbed the examples of friends. You proceeded through trial and error—the school of hard knocks. 

You learned haphazard, mostly wrong, and certainly out of context. 

Money is one of the most important subjects to study in your entire life. Some of life’s greatest enjoyments and most of life’s greatest disappointments stem from your money decisions.

Wealth is an open book test, and the answers are obvious.  What small results can you add to your life that can bring you large financial results?  How much do you know about the wealth formula?  Join me for this week’s podcast on Wealth Formula Secrets - Tom Painter Interview.

Click HERE for more info about Tom & his work.

By adding Expectations to your persuasive toolbox, you can change your audience's expectations of you—and their expectation of buying your product, service, or idea—and you will be infinitely more persuasive.

Staring at yourself during virtual chats may worsen your mood

The challenge is you are creating negative expectations – they feel the desire to say no because of your mindset, body language, or word choice.  When we suggest (subconsciously) that it is OK to say no – they do.  Join me for this week’s podcast on  Resistance: Do You Create Your Own NO?

When you become a great Persuader, you will learn to love objections. You will understand that when people voice their objections, it indicates interest and shows that they are paying attention to what you are saying. The key to persuasion is anticipating all objections before you hear them. Fielding questions and handling objections can make or break you as a persuader. These skills will help you in every aspect of your life.

Praise and intelligence: Why telling kids they are smart make them act dumb

Handling objections has become a lost art.  Very few persuaders know how to turn an objection into a sale.  There are three other lost persuasion tools that most influencers have forgotten to use.  Have you ever needed a persuasion technique that would reduce resistance and turn a no into yes?  

Join me for this week’s podcast to learn more about  3 Critical BUT Forgotten Sales And Persuasion Techniques.

Life is change; persuasion is change. As a Persuader, you must be able to create and motivate change. Understanding human nature is knowing that most people will resist change and burrow into their comfort zones. We tend to follow the path of least resistance. BUT when done it the right way, people are very accepting of change.

Mood Has Less Control Over Behavior Than We Think

Those are some good fundamentals to change, BUT most persuaders want to get it done better and faster.  How can you get people excited to change?  What tools do you need to have people beg you to change their product/service? 

Join me for this week’s podcast to learn more about  The Quickest Way To Get A YES To Change.

Persuaders know emotion will override logic every time.  I will assume here (I know I shouldn’t do that) that you can form a logical argument.  Reading emotions and your emotional intelligence is the missing piece for most people that want to become more influential.  Very few know how to read and trigger the right emotional states.

16 top reasons cited for getting out of a speeding ticket

What emotions do you need to trigger with your message?  Can you read and change your prospect's emotions?  Is it helping or hurting your ability to influence? 

Join me for this week’s podcast to find out more about emotions and what to do when anger hits – for you or them.  As a bonus you will also discover How To Get Out Of A Speaking Ticket.

A great persuader can connect with anyone in thirty seconds or less. First impressions take only seconds to form, but they last a lifetime. This is a critical skill to develop because the cement dries fast. How do you ensure that you’re making those early seconds really count?

‘Mind’s eye blink’ proves ‘paying attention’ is not just a figure of speech

So do people like you?  Can you develop rapport?  Are you sure?  It is doubtful in the current climate.  What are you doing that destroys connectivity?  What can you do to instant connect with more people? 

Join me for this week’s podcast on Conversation Starters For People to Like You.  I will focus on critical areas to increase likeability and enhance your ability to get anyone to like you.

All things being equal, people will do business with, and refer business to, those people they know, like, and trust.

People choose healthier food when with outsiders for fear of being negatively judged

So do people trust you?  Are you sure?  It is doubtful in the current climate.  What are you doing that destroys trust?  What can you do to increase trust?  Join me for this week’s podcast on 7 Reasons People Don’t Trust You.  I will focus on critical areas to increase trust and enhance your ability to influence command

Let’s talk about where negotiation fits into the world of persuasion and the difference between the two. Persuasion occurs when your ideas are so convincing that the other party adopts your point of view. With persuasion, there is no compromising as there is in negotiation.

Why Do Hugs Feel Good? This Chemical Messenger

Do Zoom Meetings Kill Creativity?

Join me for this week’s podcast on The Boomerang Effect And Why People Resist You.  Get more people to connect with you, open up and become more influential. 

Join me for this week’s podcast on Shut-Up And Sell: No More Data Dump. 

During this podcast, I will reveal how to know when it is time to ask for their business. 

What do you look for in their body language to know the persuasion process is done and they are ready to roll. 

Upward Physical Movement Brings Back Happy Memories

Click on the link and get a few more influence tools that help your prospect persuade themselves.

As a persuader, you need to help your audience be one step closer to taking action. As a Power Persuader, your goal is to decrease the distance someone has to go to reach your objective. Your task is to make it as easy and simple as possible. You need to decrease the mental, social or physical distance they need to travel to be persuaded.

How to Get People to Speak Up in Virtual Meetings

If your prospect is not listening, doesn’t care, and is not participating in the process – you can’t influence them.  Is it you?  Is it them?  Take some ownership and admit that you can be more engaging and even more charismatic in your online and offline presentations. 

Join me for this week’s podcast on How To Increase Meeting (Zoom) Participation, Engagement And Influence.  I will focus on key things you can do today that will get more people to listen, increase their online participation, and keep your audience wanting more.

The moment people sense that you are attempting to persuade them, their resistance increases in size and strength. To counter this tendency, persuasion and sales must take place below the conscious radar.

Women seen as happy and men as angry despite real emotions

Great persuaders have cultivated a sixth sense regarding the "push and pull" aspect of persuasion. You must encourage without pushing. Entice, but don't ensnare. You have to sense and then predict what you can do and how your audience will respond based upon knowledge, instinct, experience, and nonverbal cues. With this sensitivity, which you can learn, you can persuade and influence below their resistance radar.

Are you causing resistance?  Are your influence tools outdated? 

Join me for this week’s podcast on The 3 Keys To Increase Your Power Of Persuasion. You will discover the most important things you can do to reduce resistance, adapt to your prospect and get more YES in your life.

Most of the time, closing skills are overused or used in the wrong way. When closing skills are used right and sparingly, it can have a powerful effect by helping others say “yes faster. The key is to use closing in the right way in any aspect of persuasion. This is where you get the yes. It is not a time to beat around the bush or hesitate.

Want to know how closing has changed in the last few years?  Ever wonder what closing mistakes you could be using?  Want to know how to close more sales? 

10 Sales Mistakes Reps Make Way Too Often

Join me for this week’s podcast cast on Top Ten Closing Mistakes. You will discover how to balance the best closing techniques in the new world of sales.

 

Join me for this week’s podcast cast on Negotiation Techniques, Tactics, Tips, and Psychological Tricks With Marshall Wilkinson. 

Marshall has negotiated over 2 billion dollars in contracts.  We will discuss how negotiation has changed, techniques that seal the deal, and psychological tricks that are being used against you.

For more information about Marshall visit his website here. 

What are you doing that causes your prospect to feel – This does not feel right?  Maybe what you are doing causes them to think – I need to think about this because something is not quite right.  What can you do to reduce these feelings and roadblocks to influence?

The Fallacy of Multitasking

Join me for this week’s podcast cast on How Colors, Symbols, And Aromas Help/Hurt Your Ability To Influence.  

Do you repel people?  Most people say no.  Although most of us do things that repel people.  You have met people that just rubbed you the wrong way.  They repelled you, you did not like them, and you did not want to be around them.  The key is that they never told you what you did wrong or how you made them feel; they just left. 

The color red influences investor behavior

Statistics show that this is happening to you.

Want to know other things you are doing that repel people?  Ever realize that common thing you are doing drive people away?  Want solutions to those influence blunders that are costing you money? 

Join me for this week’s podcast cast on Top Persuasion Mistakes/Blunders Of All Time #2.  Discover those mistakes and how to persuade like a pro.

Want to know the top persuasion mistakes?  Want solutions to those influence blunders that are costing you money? 

17 Things Keeping You From Getting Rich

Join me for this week’s podcast cast on The Top Persuasion Mistakes/Blunders Of All Time.  Discover those mistakes and how to influence like a pro.

Do you want to know more about your body language and how to use it to persuade with power?  Did you know many of your gestures tend to repel others and cause resistance?

33 Nonverbal Communication Tips

Oscar Mayer selling mask inspired by its bologna

Join me for this week’s podcast cast on Nonverbals that Influence vs Body Language That Repels. 

Discover the keys to reading body language and understanding what gestures repel your prospect.

Do you want to be able to think on your feet?  Adjust your presentation on the fly?  Adapt to your prospect and persuade them how they want to be persuaded.  Can you prepare for an impromptu speech? 

The Psychology of Your Scrolling Addiction

Join me for this week’s podcast on How To Think On Your Feet:  The Creative Art Of The Spontaneous, Impromptu Presentation.  Discover the secrets of your creativity and adapt your presentation.

Are your presentations persuasive?  Are you sure?  What about your ability to engage and influence on zoom or other video conferencing platforms?  These skills are critical for influence and upward mobility.

Stanford researchers identify four causes for ‘Zoom fatigue’ and their simple fixes

Eye tracking reveals where people look during Zoom, Webex

20 Astonishing Video Conferencing Statistics for 2021

Join me for this week’s podcast  - How To Make Video Conferencing (And Zoom) More Influential.  We will talk about the science and skills needed to persuade during video conference calls.

Great persuaders gain control over their destiny by controlling and directing their thoughts.  Considering that our actions are emotion-driven and our emotions are thought-driven, we've got to get our thoughts on track. They determine everything!

What’s the Cost of Self-Control? New Study Tabulates the Bill

What are the other elements of your success?  What pieces are you missing?  How can you reprogram your brain for massive success?  

Join me for this week’s podcast on The Mindset Of A Successful Salesperson.  We will take a deep dive into success skills, personal mastery, and self-persuasion.

No one can follow through on an act or message without first thinking or seeing in their mind that it is possible to accomplish it. You can mentally achieve participation by helping your audience visualize and see in their mind how your product or service will help them.

How are you doing creating images in the mind of your prospect?  Are your prospects questioning your credibility?  Have you lost trust with people?  

Evoking the Imagination as a Strategy of Influence

Join me for this week’s podcast as we tackle both issues that hurt your ability to influence.  The podcast is Lost Trust? - How To Rebuild Credibility In A Skeptical World.

There are many studies the reveal the relationship between visualization and success in sports.  There is a well-known study done by Russian scientists.  They wanted to know the relationship between physical and mental training and what is the most important.

What Is the Ownership Effect

Are you able to help your prospect visualize using your product/service?  Do you want more tools to help people visualize the solution?  It is all about increasing mental involvement and painting that picture. 

Join me for this week’s podcast - Paint The Persuasion Picture – Keys To Mental Engagement.  We will discover the keys to visualization and influence.

Just because you can create a PowerPoint does not mean you know how to communicate, inspire and present.  Sure, you can give a presentation, and no one leaves the room; it doesn’t say anything negative, but did you really have charisma?  Did you influence them to your point of view? 

When preparing your presentation, be sure you have several ways to support and enhance your message. Great persuaders use presentation aids that will, concisely, and efficiently deliver their main points. Visual aids should improve your presentation and help keep people’s attention, but visual overload will distract from your message.

Are your visuals persuasive?  Are you abusing powerpoint?  Are you violating the common powerpoint mistakes?  Want to know how to use powerpoint to become more influential?  

Well, I have the answers….Join me for this week’s podcast - Break Your Powerpoint Addiction – Mistakes Draining Your Influence.  We will discover how to use visual aid that will help you persuade and influence.

Preparation is the magic ingredient to all successful negotiations. When negotiating, you have to be prepared for anything. You need to know the ins and outs, the intricacies of both sides. The more you prepare, the more knowledge you have, you will get a better deal.

Five Presentation Mistakes Everyone Makes

Negotiation is part of everyday life.  As they say - You deserve what you negotiate.  The challenge is negotiation has changed.  Many people are using some old-style, outdated, cheesy tactics that need to be retired.  Join me for this week’s podcast  - The 7 Deadly Negotiation Sins - Mistakes Costing You The Deal.  We will talk about the blunders you are making and how to fix them to increase your success and influence. 

The research shows that when you create a positive perception with your prospect, you have an 85 percent chance of influence.  On the other hand, you have only a 15 percent chance of influence when you make a negative perception.

Rapport is key to influence, networking, and building future strategic relationships.  Know when you are connecting with someone or repelling them.  Join me for this week’s podcast on Networking and Building Strategic Relationships – Interview with Ivan Misner.  We will take a deep dive into the keys of how to build strategic relationships.  We are also going to talk about the new tools for prospecting for these new times.

Persuasion occurs when your ideas are so convincing that the other party adopts your point of view. With persuasion, there is no compromising as there is in negotiation. Instead, the other party willfully and enthusiastically abandons their position to embrace yours.

Want to learn more about emotion and ego in negotiation?  Wonder the best raise to ask for a raise and earn what you are worth?  Join me for this week’s podcast as I interview the author of Mindful NEGOtiation -  Gaetan Pellerin.  We will take a deep dive into how negation has changed in this new Pandemic world.

 

Join me for this week’s podcast for some incredible free gifts. 

This is podcast 400 and will deliver some great content and influence gifts to take your skills to the next level.  This podcast will do a 180 from other podcasts.  Instead of helping become more influential, this podcast will reveal the art and science of resisting the persuasive attempts of others.

Help me celebrate podcast 400 on How to Resist Influence and Coercion.

Influential people not only express themselves in positive nonverbal ways.  They also use nonverbal behavior to captivate and persuade their prospects.  During each encounter, Influential people are careful what gestures they use and don’t use.

Being Nice To Others Makes Them More Likely To Be Nice To You

Body Language Guide – Crossed Arms and 17 More Cues to Know

Discover how to read other people's body language and what it means.  Especially how to read their arms movements and what it means.  I will also reveal that what you are doing with your arms could help or hurt your ability to persuade.  Find out how to use your arms to be more persuasive.  Join me for this week’s podcast on Reading Body Language - What Your Arm Movement Says About You

The Law of Verbal Packaging states that the more skillful a person is in the use of language, the more persuasive they will be. People are persuaded by us based on the words we use. Words affect our perceptions, our attitudes, our beliefs, and our emotions.

The words we use in the persuasion process make all the difference in the world. Language used incorrectly will trigger the wrong response and decrease your ability to persuade. Word skills are also directly related to earning power.

People prefer friendliness, trustworthiness in teammates over skill competency

Successful people all share a common ability to use language in ways that evoke vivid thoughts, feelings, and actions in their audiences. 

Great persuaders all adhere to an intensive personal development program. They know that "dull knives work the hardest," so keeping themselves sharp is of the utmost importance. Average persuaders don't consider personal training to be worthwhile.

They figure working harder is the answer. They also assume that they'll figure it all out on their own sooner or later, maybe from reading a book or two. They also think it's too expensive, or a waste of time to learn from somebody else.

What do you need to learn and master?  What is your weak link to success? Are you wasting valuable time to get there? Just like a computer, if you don't upgrade yourself, you will become obsolete to both yourself and your future.

Mentioning facial imperfection early in a job interview helps

Personal development is the first thing you can do to leverage your success.  Leverage speeds up the success process.  Join me for this week’s podcast as I discuss 3 additional success principles used to increase your speed to success.  Click to join me for PQ Skill 10 - The Secret Sauce Of Success.

What are the subconscious triggers that cause you to buy more?

 Face can reveal if you’re rich or poor

Join me for this week’s podcast as I talk about those subconscious retail triggers that cause you to spend more money.  The science is in --- Do they cause you to purchase too much? 

Why is the tendency to procrastinate so prevalent? We know it does us no good, and yet it plagues even the best of us. Putting things off until the last minute never gives the best results.

What are some reasons we procrastinate? Another big one is indecision. We fear being wrong and making mistakes.  Sometimes we procrastinate because we are tired or we don’t have the energy.    

Hey, do you have a second - The upside of workplace interruptions

Let’s talk about the solution to accomplish more in less time.  What are the ways to overcome procrastination and be more effective with your time?  It is impossible to talk about procrastination and not end up talking about time management.

 Join me for this week’s podcast as I talk about traits and characteristics of people know how to turn time into money.  This podcast is called PQ Skill 9 - Secrets to Accomplish More In Less Time.

We tend to judge rapidly, and that snap judgment is usually correct. When you meet someone for the first time, he will tend to categorize you like someone he already knows.3 The positive or negative characteristics of the person you resemble tend to be transferred to you (fair or not). The bottom line is that your audience is pretty good at sizing you up in the first seconds of your meeting. Great persuaders know how to create magic in those first few seconds, and those feelings will last a lifetime.

Seven Personality Traits of Top Salespeople

Join me for this week’s podcast as I talk about an HBR article about some of the traits and characteristics of power persuaders.  You will be surprised about the studies on people skills, rapport, and how connectivity has changed.  This podcast is called Learnable Personality Traits of Top Salespeople

Great persuaders are great communicators. Well-known motivational speaker and best-selling author Jim Rohn said it best: “When I learned how to effectively persuade and communicate, my income went from six digits to seven digits.”

The False Consensus Effect

Your communication skills are critical for your success, yet this is another set of overlooked skills that are not effectively taught in school. Communication includes phone skills, face-to-face interactions, Zoom presentations, and even email.

Do you want to be more persuasive on the phone?  Want to influence over zoom?  These skills are critical to your ability to take a interested prospect to a happy customer. 

 Join me for this week’s podcast as I take a deep dive into these presentation skills and the keys to influence when you are not face-to-face.  This podcast is called PQ Skill #8 - How To Sell Over The Phone - Tools to Persuade With Your Voice.

Are Your Authentic and Congruent Or Fake and Unlikable?

One interesting study found that physical gestures that convey less immediacy (lack of eye contact, leaning back, reduced proximity) communicate you don’t like the person.  It communicates a lack of congruence.  It destroys your authenticity and coming across as genuine.

Imposter syndrome

Are you congruent with your past history and your last interaction?  Does your nonverbal behavior match your actions?  Are you sure?  Are your emotions congruent with your message?   The current research shows that authenticity is one of the most important traits to have in the current situation.  Join me for this week’s podcast as I take a deep dive into imposter syndrome and the keys to radiate authenticity.  This podcast is called The Missing Piece To Your Persuasion Toolbox – Authenticity.

Two of the big motivation inhibitors are mindset and the people we associate with. Take a look around you. Are the people in your life pulling you up or pulling you down? Are they encouraging you or discouraging you? How do they view your goals, dreams, and aspirations?

Turning Off Your Camera Can Reduce Zoom Fatigue

What’s holding you back? What are the chains and stakes in your life? What would it take to make you want to leap out of bed each morning? If you have dull dreams, it is difficult to stay motivated.  Join me for this week’s podcast and understand how to motivated yourself and the people you persuade.  Understand the science of motivation.  This podcast is called How to Motivate Your Prospect (And Yourself) - Every Time.

One of the biggest surprises in 20 years of influence research is the importance of self-esteem.  We have to understand human nature and ego. Now, what is Self-esteem? Basically a simple definition is how much you like yourself.

So what do we need to know? You need to understand the trend, that self-esteem is at a all-time low. Two out of three Americans suffer from low self-esteem and I'll put it this way. We all suffer from low self-esteem in some aspects of our life. Is it in a swimsuit? Is it public speaking? Is it closing? What is your area?

You have to massage their esteem while you persuade.  If you don’t – You will always get the no. Another reason is low self-esteem is a cause of bullying, threats, and intimidation. 

Join me for this week’s podcast as I discuss

"How to Stop The Bully:  How to persuade difficult and aggressive people."

The Law of Expectations AND The Impact of Suggestion

 The Law of Expectations uses expectations to influence reality and create results. Individuals tend to make decisions based on how others expect them to behave or perform. As a result, people fulfill those expectations whether positive or negative. 

Expectations have a powerful impact on those we trust and respect, but, interestingly, an impact on strangers. When we know someone expects something from us, we will try to satisfy him or her in order to gain respect, trust and likability.

Check out this article.

 You know the saying, "What gets measured, gets done." The same is true for expectations. That which is expected is what actually happens. People rise to meet your expectations of them. This is a powerful force that can lead to the improvement or destruction of a person. You can express an expectation of doubt, lack of confidence, and skepticism, and you will see the results.  

 We communicate our expectations in a variety of ways. It may be through our language, our word choice, voice inflections, or our body language. Think of a time when you've been introduced to someone. Usually, if they introduce themselves by their first name, then you do the same. If they give their first and last name, you do likewise.

 Whether you realize it or not, you accept cues from others regarding their expectations and you act accordingly. Similarly, we all unknowingly send out our own cues and expectations. The power is in using the Law of Expectations consciously!

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Negotiation Versus Persuasion

Let’s talk about where negotiation fits into the world of persuasion and the difference between the two. Persuasion occurs when your ideas are so convincing that the other party ends up adopting your point of view. With persuasion, there is no compromising as there is in negotiation. Rather, the other party willfully and enthusiastically abandons their position to embrace yours. This abandonment is not brought about by manipulation because the other party clearly sees the gains and advantages of doing business with you.

Negotiation, on the other hand, is a process of give and take. It’s being able to overcome objections on both sides of an issue and ultimately reaching some common ground. While persuasion is the ultimate ideal, anytime any one of us is presenting our ideas, the other party is often equally committed to their own convictions, thus making negotiation the next best path.

Often when we hear the word “negotiation,” we think of a complex deal going on in the business world. In reality, however, all of us are involved in multiple negotiation processes every day. For example, when you want steak but your spouse wants lasagna, you may banter back and forth about why one is better than the other. In the end, however, you end up going to a place that offers a bit of both. In that instance, you may not have thought of yourself as negotiating, but that’s really what it was. Negotiation is so common in day-to-day life that you must master the skills of great negotiators to become a Master Persuader.

 

Offer

Negotiation 3 day Bootcamp Audios

 

 

Article Link

https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/lhb-lhb0000189.pdf

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11780104

 

The Value of the Simple Statement

Simple is better than complex. Since we are unable to recapture or replay our spoken words, we hope that they will be correctly interpreted the first time they are heard. Unfortunately, spoken words can be the most misread and misinterpreted form of communication, and therefore, can be a great hindrance to effective persuasion. When you're in a persuasive situation, use simple, direct, and concise language, rather than fretting about how eloquent you're sounding. Persuaders normally try to speak to the lowest common denominator.  You might feel smarter using big words, but simple words are more persuasive.  Complex words will cause people to pretend to understand, but will not be persuaded.

 

Following are some simple guidelines to keep your speech and verbal packaging on the right track.

 

· Don't use technical language unless you are sure every member of your audience understands the meaning.

 

· Don't use profanity. In general, using profanity damages your credibility.  

 

· Be sensitive to whatever language your audience might find offensive or politically incorrect. 

 

· Speak in everyday language. You want your audience to relate to you and to feel as comfortable with you as possible.

 

· Use language that will make you seem familiar and easy to follow.

 

· Keep your language simple and clear.

 

· Keep your sentences short. Use as few words as possible unless you are painting the picture—just one idea at a time. 

 

· Use words that will engage the audience. Use "you," "we," and "us."

 

· Don't use vague and abstract words. They muddle your meaning and confuse your listener.

 

· Don't talk down to your listener by using pompous and pretentious words. 

 

· Use verb-driven language. By using verb-driven language, you will arouse a greater sense of action and motivation. Using action verbs will make your statement more convincing because your audience will engage their emotions, consciously and subconsciously. Verbs that are abstract or overused do not communicate excitement.

 

Attention-Grabbing Words  

With so many words in the English language to pick from, you must be very particular about which ones to use. Some will grab attention more than others. The following 21 words are commonly used to effectively persuade:

 

1.         Discover

2.         Guarantee 

3.         Now

4.         Improve

5.         Results

6.         Save

7.         Health

8.         Wealth

9.         Quick

10.       Easy

11.       Money

12.       Free

13.       Avoid

14.       New

15.       Benefit

16.       Proven

17.       Prevent

18.       Transform

19.       You/Your

20.       Eliminate

Article Link:  https://psychology.iresearchnet.com/social-psychology/social-psychology-theories/self-verification-theory/

Product Special

Magnetic Persuasion – Create Instant Influence

 

 

What Does Improv Have To Do With Business? With guest Kelly Leonard from

www.secondcityworks.com

 

The ability to thrive amid change requires 4 things:

 

·         The ability to recognize where you are in any given moment

·         The flexibility to choose a new path

·         A willingness to collaborate on a solution

·         The freedom to take a risk…and to learn from failure

 

Great tenets for doing business, right? But these just happen to also be the very same skills we employ in our arena. Improvisation is an art form developed from a need to enhance assimilation, empathy and collaboration.  We didn’t seek out this connection–the findings found us, to say the least. To be honest, we’re kicking ourselves that we didn’t see it sooner.

 In fact, existing academic research and data already points to the power of improvisation. Here are a few of our favorite examples:

 

Divergent Thinking – “Improvisation encourages people to break away from set patterns of thinking.” –Carine Lewis, Peter J. Lovatt; University of Hertfordshire, UK

Negotiation – “Cooperative improvisation yielded more successful negotiations.” –Paul Ingram, William Duggan; Oxford Handbook of Critical Improvisation Studies

Decision Making – “Without improvisation, emergency management loses flexibility in the face of changing conditions.” –David Mendonca, Giampiero E.G. Beroggi, William A. Wallace; Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute

Problem Solving – “Improvisation shows us creativity in action. If shows that – in art, as in life – failures and mistakes can be turned into chances for original and unpredictable achievements.” –Alessandro Bertinetto, University of Udino

 

How do we achieve all this? With two little words that can change everything:

 Yes, and.

 That’s it! Our big secret. We teach that by understanding and applying the core improvisational concept  of “Yes, And,” you can pretty much achieve anything. In business–and in life–we are constantly tasked with making something out of nothing: new products, new clients, new strategies, new bosses, new co-workers, new economies.

 You can’t do new by saying no.

 And you can’t stop at yes.

What we’ve learned over more than half a century can bring out the creativity out in anyone. We can teach you and your team how to create an atmosphere that encourages risk taking and produces better understanding, real results and measurable success.

visit secondcityworks.com for more information!

This podcast is going to focus on how to handle the heckler and maintain audience control in any situation.  One of the key factors is getting to know your audience.

 

It is critical that you understand where your audience is coming from and what their needs and wants are. What do they really want to know? What are they searching for? What information can you present to bridge the gap between what they feel and what they want? It’s important to understand your audience as a general group and also to get inside their minds as individuals.

 

Here are some questions you should ask yourself about your audience as you prepare:

 

•     Who am I trying to persuade?

•     What is the common background or interest that brings them together?

•     Who are these people as individuals (business people, students, mothers, etc.)?

•     What can I offer that they will universally care about and understand?

•      What types of things will they be looking to get out of my message?

•      In terms of my key point(s), are they likely to agree, disagree, or be  

        indifferent?

•      Do I need to be aware of their political, religious, professional, or other

         associations?

•       What is their average education and/or income level?

•       What is their general age range?

•       Will they tend to be more conservative or more liberal in their life views?

•       Is this likely to be an easygoing or demanding crowd?

•       How long will I be likely to keep them engaged? How much time is available?

•       Is what I have to offer appropriate for this audience?

•       What is my audience’s biggest challenge and how am I going to solve it?

 

Article link:  http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/03/health/distracted-driving-addiction-brain-impact/index.html

Synchronized Beliefs

Very closely related to directing our thoughts are our beliefs or belief systems. Just as airplanes have guidance systems to direct them, so do we have systems guiding and shaping what we think, do, and believe. Without these influences, we will miss our intended destination, just like an airplane out of touch with the control tower would never be able to land.

 What if you had two control towers telling the pilots what to do? The results would be devastating. What many of us don't realize is that we are tuned in to multiple guidance systems simultaneously. For example, we value the input of our parents, spouse, and close friends, and pay heed to rules of the community, society, and often religion. Since so many influences may conflict with one another, we have to prioritize who or what dictates our belief system. If we cannot synchronize these influences, we will wander through life, always missing the target because of our inability to synchronize our beliefs. Great persuaders hit their targets more often because of a well-synchronized belief system.

 

It may be a very helpful exercise to pinpoint the main beliefs that are shaping your life and to determine whether or not any of them are in conflict with each other.

 

Consider the following possible conflicts of interest:

            The pursuit of wealth                      "Money is the root of all evil"

            Job security                                       Entrepreneurial freedom

            Making it to the top                         "Family comes first"

            Love of eating                                   Healthy body

            Adventurous                                    Ducks in a row

            You only live once                           Restraint, moderation

            More free time                                  Pursue financial independence

            Reduce debt                                      Start investing

            Successful business                         Successful parent

            Spiritual                                             Wealthy

 

After you have identified which beliefs shape your life, you need to determine which beliefs represent personal truths for you and which ones you have simply acquired by social and cultural osmosis. Upon closer study, we often find that much of what we believe has not come through our own thoughtful searching. Rather, it comes through imitating what society teaches is appropriate, and what we have been exposed to at home, school, or work. In order to truly change, grow, and prosper, we need to be consciously aware of the rules we've made for ourselves, where they have come from, and what they're based on. Do they all serve you? Or are they sabotaging you? It is time to take ownership of your beliefs.

 

Article Link

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2017/01/07/these-9-mental-habits-suck-the-happiness-from-your-life/

Jon Gordon's best-selling books and talks have inspired readers and audiences around the world. His principles have been put to the test by numerous NFL, NBA, MLB coaches and teams, Fortune 500 companies, school districts, hospitals and non-profits. He is the author of numerous best-selling books including The Energy Bus, The Carpenter, Training Camp, The Seed, You Win in the Locker Room First and The No Complaining Rule. Jon and his tips have been featured on The Today Show, CNN, CNBC, The Golf Channel, Fox and Friends and in numerous magazines and newspapers. His clients include The Los Angeles Dodgers, The Atlanta Falcons, Campbell Soup, Dell, Publix, Southwest Airlines, LA Clippers, Miami Heat, Pittsburgh Pirates, BB&T Bank, Clemson Football, Northwestern Mutual, Bayer, West Point Academy and more.

The Power of Positive Leadership

Great leaders understand that people drive the numbers, not the other way around; to win, you must win with people—and this book shows you how. It all begins with your decision to become a positive leader, and the understanding that leadership is not just about what you can do, but what you can inspire, encourage, and empower others to do. You'll learn to bring out the best in each of your employees by sharing the best within you; instead of running over people to achieve your goals, invite them on board—together, you can achieve more than you ever thought possible.

 Difficult times call for leaders who are up for the challenge. Results are the byproduct of your culture, teamwork, vision, talent, innovation, execution, and commitment; this book shows you how to bring it all together to become a powerfully positive leader.

 Discover the true drivers of short- and long-term success

Learn what leadership is really about

Cultivate the habits and outlook of successful leaders

Strengthen your people and let the results speak for themselves

Find the right people, invest in them, nurture them, and develop them; as they grow, so do you. The Power of Positive Leadership helps you become the person you want to be, and the leader your people need.

For more information about Jon and his work visit: www.jongordon.com

Charismatics have the ability to focus quickly in the moment similar to great athletes.  To master the area of focus and concentration, we must implement what athletes do before, during and after the competition.  

•           Visualize the win or the outcome before it happens

•           Constant self-discipline even when it hurts

•           Refocus after failure and learn from those mistakes

•           Instantly replace negative thoughts with positive ones

•           Have the ability to quickly change their state of mind

•           Able to concentrate during heavy distractions 

 

The key is to begin to focus and concentrate a little at a time.  Today try to focus and stay on a task for five minutes.  Where can you go?   What do you need to do to avoid distractions?  As you progress with this skill, add the length of time and your ability to limit distractions.  The second thing is to figure out what block of the day is your most productive time?  Is it the morning, the afternoon or the evening?  This is the time when you do your most important and difficult work.  Find that time when it is the easiest to concentrate and get things done.  When you truly master your ability to focus, not only is it easier to influence others, you will be able to accomplish ten times more in half the amount of time.

Link to Article: http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/107179190300900404

 

Passion is very contagious.  When you transfer this passion, the people around you start to radiate that passion.  They perform better, if it is at work, it is no longer work.  They become more proactive, more willing to work as a team and become more optimistic.  When you have tapped into this passion you become more determined and it increases your persistence.  It starts to become a burning desire and consumes you and it radiates to others.  A word of caution, just because you are passionate does not mean you can forego learning the skills you need to be successful.  It is a critical piece of the charisma pie, but you still need more pieces of the pie to radiate powerful long-term charisma.

More than anything else, passion recruits the hearts and minds of your audience.  Charismatics radiate heartfelt passion.  When the audience can sense your passion and sincere conviction for your cause, they will emotionally jump on board.  We all love people who are excited and filled with believable passion for their subject.  Passion is critical to influencing others and transmitting charisma.  When you have passion for something, you want to let everyone know about it.  You want to convert as many people to your cause as possible, and when someone disagrees with you, you are not swayed by their opinions or advice.  

PS

Remember to test out your personal pics.  The website we talked about was Photofeeler.com

 

Article Link: http://www.upi.com/Science_News/2017/04/14/Science-says-Let-a-stranger-pick-your-profile-picture/8781492196442/

Emotional States: Understanding Feelings and Moods

Charismatic people know there is a fine line between logic and emotion.  To influence someone you have to have both.  Emotion will override logic every time.  I am going to assume here (I know I shouldn’t do that) you have the ability to form a logical argument.  Emotion is the missing piece for most people that want to become more charismatic.  Very few really know how emotional states, feelings, subconscious triggers and moods affect other people and affect (good and bad) your ability to maintain charisma and influence.  

 Logic tends to be more temporary while emotion will carry your message into the future.  Emotion inspires us to take action, but logic justifies those actions.  We know it is difficult for most people to distinguish between logic and emotion.  We know that is difficult to identify many of the emotions that are felt throughout a day.  We know people can’t forecast what emotions they will feel, how long they will feel it and how strong the emotion will be.  Most people just sense if you or your message makes them feel good or feel bad.  Your goal is to change or maintain their emotional state or mood.

These are the emotions that will detract from your charisma and decrease your ability to influence.

 Anger

Anger is a sign that something is out of line.   Anger is also known as a secondary emotion.  What they are angry about and really angry about are usually two different things.  You can help decrease a person’s anger by finding out the main reason they are upset.  It is also useful to ask for their help, opinions, or advice.  This will usually diffuse their anger or even help change their demeanor.  Sometimes the person doing the influencing may want to use anger to make a certain point or to evoke a certain reaction.

 Worry

When someone is worried or preoccupied with something occurring now or could happen in the future, your ability to change their mood or influence them declines.  Worry could cause you to feel nervous, uneasy or anxious.  Worry can be referred to as a negative vision of the future.  Help them by bringing them back to reality.  Worry will subside when you can substitute their negative images with positive ones.  Another way worry decline is when you help them make a decision.  Worry decreases with decisions.

 Fear

Fear is anxiety or tension caused by danger or apprehension.  The possibility of harm can be real, but it is usually an overactive imagination.  Fear motivates us and moves us away from perceived unpleasant circumstances or certain danger.  Logic rarely reduces fear.  The key to understanding fear is to realize that is has been learned from a past experience.  Remember that fear is very real to them.  Make sure when they are in fear that you can provide a solution for them.  Then your job as a great influencer is to help them feel capable of overcoming this fear. 

That first thirty seconds with your audience are critical. How do you start? Great persuaders craft and design their message. There is no room to wing it. Your opening is where your audience formulates and settles into their impressions of you. Think of your opening or introduction as comprising no more than 10 percent of your full presentation. Budgeting your speech in this manner forces you to organize your time so that you know exactly what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it. 

 As you move from the opening of your presentation to the main body, it is helpful to remember the acronym TESS, which stands for testimonials, examples, statistics, and stories. Top persuaders tend to incorporate each of these elements into their presentations. Our research shows that when speaking to an audience, each point of TESS will resonate with different audience members. On average, TESS resonates as follows:

Testimonials                12%

Examples                     23%

Statistics                      18%

Stories                         47%

          

       Testimonials. A testimonial is a person’s statement or declaration of what they believe and assert to be true. In your presentation, it can be your own, or it can come from a third party. Testimonials are a source of social validation—people assume that if others believe in it, then they should too. Great persuaders know how to use testimonials when their credibility is low. Make sure your testimonials are believable and unbiased and that they are qualified for your audience. 

            Examples. An example is an explanation or model that demonstrates or illustrates your point. Instead of just spouting off facts, examples make your points come alive. Examples reinforce your ideas and make them vivid and real in the mind of your audience. Examples can be taken from research studies, from articles you’ve read—and they can be personal anecdotes. 

           Statistics. In a consumer climate that is increasingly skeptical, I recommend using statistics sparingly. Everyone knows that you can “cook the books” and find statistics to prove almost anything; your audience wants credible statistics. Statistics resonate with the logical mind, and when convincing, they are very persuasive. In particular, the analytical minds in your audience will love you and want to know the source. Most statistics need to be explained and often work best with visual aids.

            Stories. The most powerful of the four elements of TESS are stories. They draw your audience in while helping them understand and appreciate your message. I’m sure you can think of a time when you were in an audience, not paying much attention to the speaker. You were probably off in your own world, when all of a sudden, you perked up and started to listen because the speaker started telling a story. When we hear a story, we automatically tune in and want to know what happens next.

Structuring Persuasive Presentations

Why should we be concerned with the structure of a persuasive presentation? Top predictor of professional success is how much you enjoy and how good you are at public speaking.   Studies also show the ability to give presentations was ranked as the most critical skill needed to move up in today’s business environment.

 

Before we jump into the meat of this topic, remember as you prepare your persuasive message that you want to focus on one defined issue. You are not there to persuade on ten different points. Stay focused and steer clear of sensitive issues that aren't on your original agenda. In other words, don't inadvertently offend your audience on one issue when your focus in on another. The structure of your persuasive message should follow the pattern discussed below.

 

1. Create Interest

You have to generate an interest about your chosen topic. Your audience needs a reason to listen: Why should they care? What's in it for them? How can you help them? A message that starts with a really good reason to listen will grab the attention of the audience, enabling you to continue with the message. Without this attention, there is no hope of getting your message across.

 

2. State the Problem

You must clearly define the problem you are trying to solve. The best pattern for a persuasive presentation is to find a problem and relate how it affects the audience. In this way, you show them a problem they have and why it is of concern to them. Why is this a problem to your audience?  

 

3. Offer Evidence

This is the support you give to your argument. Evidence validates your claims and offers proof that your argument is correct. It allows your audience to rely on other sources besides you. Evidence can include examples, statistics, testimonies, analogies, and any other supporting material used to enhance the integrity and congruency of your message.

 

4. Present a Solution

You have gained your audience's interest and provided evidence in support of your message; now you must solve their problem. You present the argument you want them to believe and satisfy the need you have identified or created. You have created dissonance and now you are providing the solution. How can your product meet their needs and wants and help them achieve their goals?

 

5. Call to Action

A persuasive message is not true persuasion if your audience does not know exactly what they need to do. Be specific and precise. In order to complete the solution to their problem, they must take action. This is the climax, the peak of your logic and emotion. The prescribed actions must be feasible. Make your call to action as easy as possible.

 

Using this type of structure facilitates people's acceptance of your message and clarifies what you want them to do. We all have a logical side to our mind, which results in our need for order and arrangement. If we don't sense some sort of structure, we tend to become confused. If you can't be clear, concise, and orderly, your prospect will find someone else who is.

 

Link to Article: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25811633

 Six stats on the importance of trust in influencer marketing

 “Only 22% of brands are trusted.” (Havas Media)

 That’s a frightening metric for any marketer. Without establishing trust between your brand and your audience, it’s nearly impossible to market your product or service. So marketers are faced with the difficult question of how to create and maintain trust with their audience.

 “61% of women said they won’t engage with an influencer’s sponsored content if it doesn’t feel genuine.” (Bloglovin)

 Trust and authenticity are critical for engagement in any influencer campaign. Without trust, the content that you’re hoping will build engagement won’t feel genuine and won’t resonate with your desired audience.

 Low trust equals low engagement, and a pattern of this can erode an influencer’s audience over time. While this report references women specifically, these principles are applicable across the influencer marketing sphere.

 “43% of millennials rank authenticity over content when consuming news.” (Forbes)

 According to a survey of 1,300 millennials carried out by Forbes, young people prioritise trusting a company or news site before they will look at any content it produces. As Dan Schawbel of Forbes wrote, “Millennials connect best with people over logos.”

 If trust isn’t established, millennials may not even interact with your content. An influencer can get a lot of attention, but the only attention that matters for your brand is authentic, genuine interaction that builds trust between you and the audience.

 “60% of YouTube subscribers say they would follow advice on what to buy from their favourite YouTube creator over a traditional celebrity.” (TheYouTube Generation Study)

 Celebrity spokespeople have long been considered a surefire way to build positive associations for your brand among your target audience. H&R Block wants to establish trust with their audience, so they recruit Jon Hamm to be their spokesman.

 But savvy brands are turning to influencers on YouTube and other channels who have built audiences related to a shared set of interests. These placements are more authentic, and drive more brand-relevant recommendations than the generalized appeal of celebrity spots.

 “83% of consumers trust recommendations from their peers over advertising.” (Nielsen)

 Consumers take recommendations from their peers much more favorably than the ‘recommendations’ they see in ads. They trust the opinions of their friends because they know they’re both unbiased and providing recommendations that are personalized to the individual. Influencers fit this bill nicely.

 The best influencers turn down deals that don’t have a natural fit in their feed and approach branded deals without bias. Either they already love a product and are happy to endorse it, or they agree to test the product and give an honest review or endorsement.

 If you find the right influencers whose personas fit your brand values, targeted to your area of interest, the recommendations they share are more personalized for their audiences.

 “54% of consumers believe the smaller the community, the bigger the influence.” (Technorati)

 Although influencer marketing can help you reach a larger audience, ultimately, that audience doesn’t matter if it’s not the right audience. It is more valuable to show your brand to 30K likely buyers than it is to show it off to 200K totally uninterested viewers.

 Finding influencers whose content and style perfectly match your brand, no matter their follower level, is a much smarter strategy than just getting as many eyes as possible. Influencers with smaller followings may have a more relevant, engaged and trusting audience because they haven’t “blown up” yet. Check the comment sections on a Kardashian-branded post and you’ll see what I mean.

 To build trust with your audience, you don’t need to reinvent the wheel. But you do need to foster trust between your brand and the influencer — trusting them to make content that will capture your brand values while also engaging their followers in the best way.

 You can take advantage of existing marketing principles to build a playbook to engage your audience. Make use of peer recommendations from authentic influencers to drive engagement with your brand.

 Brian Zuercher is CEO & Founder of SEEN, and a contributor to Search Engine Watch.

How You Can Tell If You’re Really Connecting

              I’ve talked about common rapport-building obstacles and how you can know for sure that you’re not connecting. But how do you know that you are connecting, especially when your audience is not going to tell you? One of the most obvious signs of a good connection is that the initial defensiveness and skepticism begin to dissipate. The mood relaxes and your audience begins to relax. They begin to voluntarily offer personal thoughts and feelings without you having to pull it out of them. Openness increases, and resistance decreases. There is more eye contact and more open body language. It could best be summed up by saying things start to “feel right.” The exchange is natural, sincere, positive, and upbeat. You could compare it to how you feel when talking to a good friend. 

 

                   One of the myths about having rapport with people is that you have to agree with each other on every point. Rapport and agreement are not the same. When you have good rapport you will no doubt agree on many things, but this is incidental and not essential. Your ability to connect with people cannot be conditional. To be a powerful persuader, your persuasiveness cannot have any contingencies. You must be persuasive no matter who comes to your table, and that means accepting people as they are and still respecting them, listening to them, and caring about them. Some may think I go too far in saying agreement is incidental. Is it possible to have rapport with someone with whom you agree on nothing? Think of your friends and family. You can probably think of someone you like and connect with very well even though you don’t agree on financial, political, or religious matters.

Energy of Influence

      Another way to enhance your ability to motivate yourself and others is to make sure all things are balanced in your life. Great persuaders lead a balanced life and keep everything in perspective. I call this delicate balance “life alignment.” Make sure there is balance in every aspect of your life. Imbalance can undermine motivation and cause inaction and unhappiness. Many times, we quit early because of imbalance, even when we don’t realize an imbalance exists. It may be only one area of our life that is out of whack, but it can still have a direct effect on other areas of our life. Just as in a mutual fund, where one bad stock can pull down the fund’s overall value, one bad area in your life can also have a disproportionate negative effect. 

            Ask yourself these questions: Would I invest in my own mutual fund of myself? Would I suggest that my family or friends invest in me? These are hard questions to ask, but the answers to them are necessary as you get your life on track. Take a look at the stocks in which you have invested in your own life. What stock is pulling the rest of your portfolio down? Are you a growing mutual fund or is your mutual fund losing money? Is your fund stagnant? If you won’t invest in your personal mutual fund (yourself), who will? 

            When we look at life, we have to realize that it is not lived in segments, but rather, it is part of a greater whole. Every aspect of your life will either help or hurt the rest of your life. Our aim is to get all aspects working together to create a high-performing fund. Realize, however, that you can invest too much in one aspect of your life. When you do, you can get unbalanced just like a tire on a car. Even too much of a good thing can lead to disaster. 

            As you invest in yourself, you must make sure you are diversifying in the following six areas: We often spend too much of our time spinning our wheels and investing in stock that has no value or that is diminishing the value of our mutual fund. We get so busy buying the stock society recommends that we forget to examine whether this stock is helping or hurting us. There may also be times when you need to sell a stock (change a habit or belief) because it is not performing. We always need to make sure that we are a growth fund and that we are continually investing the right things in ourselves. If we neglect any one of the life-alignment areas, our overall happiness and success will diminish.

link to article: 

http://psychcentral.com/news/2016/05/02/evidence-found-for-visual-stereotyping/102596.html

Summary:

Talking Too Much 

  Being an extrovert, having the gift of gab, or being able to make small talk with anyone you meet can definitely be used to your advantage, but watch yourself. How can you persuade if you are always talking? It will be very annoying to your audience if they sense that you like hearing yourself talk more than listening to their concerns. Remember, it's about them, not you. Great persuaders listen more than they talk. In fact, great persuaders use their listening and questioning skills to get their audience to persuade themselves. 

 

Often when someone comes to you, she already knows what she wants. She already has something in mind. She just needs to talk through it with someone. Which approach do you think will have better, longer-term results: you persuading your audience, or you helping them persuade themselves? It's much better if your audience feels as if they have made the decision themselves, without perceived external influences. When you do have to talk, be succinct and to the point. A good rule of thumb is not to talk more than 30 percent of the time. 

 

Now, with these general guidelines in place, it is worth pointing out that you must always be prepared to adapt and adjust to the personality type of your audience. For some people, talking 30 percent of the time will still be too much. Discussing only what is relevant to the matter at hand and keeping chit-chat to a minimum is best for these no-nonsense types. Your attempts at being their buddy will likely annoy and maybe even offend them. Some people feel that being overly warm and personable is not appropriate when you have just met someone for the very first time. Polite and professional, yes, but warm and fuzzy, no. The bottom line is, don't get too friendly too fast.

Link to article: http://foodpsychology.cornell.edu/discoveries/curse-chinese-buffet

Have you ever walked into a business and just had a bad feeling from the start?  Chances are, the owner of that business did not know how to effectively use "The Law of Association."  On this epsiode, Kurt and Steve discuss how you can leverage color, smell, and music to your advantage...even if your business is done exclusively over the phone.