Maximize Your Influence (general)

Amy Cuddy – Non Verbal Link

I have already spoken at length about the necessity of positive mental programming and the initial steps one must take to put this powerful tool into practice. Great persuaders gain control over their destiny by controlling and directing their thoughts. Considering that our actions are emotion-driven, and our emotions are thought-driven, we've got to get our thoughts on track. They determine everything! You can always remind yourself of this powerful reality by keeping in mind the acronym TEA:

Thoughts → Emotions → Actions

Take an honest look at your life right now. Where do you find yourself? That place is the sum total of your thoughts over the course of a lifetime. Where have your thoughts taken you thus far? Where will they take you tomorrow, next week, or next year? It is only natural that negative thoughts will creep into your mind from time to time. As soon as they sneak in, escort them right back out. Don't entertain them. They are destructive. Some people use a rubber band to snap their wrist every time a negative thought comes into their mind. The pain associated with this technique fixes their negative thinking very rapidly. If you don’t want to try the rubber band, you can send me a $2,000 check every time you have a negative thought. I am sure that would start to work for you real fast, because that is what it is probably costing you! Your thoughts are what programs your subconscious mind.

Your thoughts are what program your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind is the center of all your emotions. When your subconscious accepts an idea, it begins to execute it. And then your subconscious uses your ideas, knowledge, energy, and wisdom to find the solution. Now, it might occur in an instant, or it might take days, weeks, or even longer. Nevertheless, your mind will continue working on a solution. You need to understand that as you program your mind, you must ask yourself, "Do I program negative suggestions in my mind?" If you are telling yourself that you can't do it, you are right. When that inner voice tells you that you can't do something, it is important that you replace the thought or turn down the volume or intensity of the negative voice. Then you can change it to "I can do it," "I'm going to win," and "there's plenty for everybody." Altering your inner voice's perception is going to make a difference, and that's the important thing. That's because your subconscious mind will always accept what you program it to think. The bottom line is that you are what you think about, and you have the power to choose what you think. No one can do it for you. Great persuaders work on this mental training every day, while average persuaders think they have heard it all before and are doing OK.

If we are going to squash our negative thinking, we must replace those thoughts with new, positive ones. As you practice mental programming, new and inspiring ideas will intuitively and instinctively arise on their own. But give yourself specific goals and targets to keep your thoughts centered on—this type of focus will nurture and augment your newfound inner strength. Sure your logical mind will fight you on these new thoughts, but eventually your new programming will win. I love what Napoleon Hill, author of the classic Think and Grow Rich, had to say about this:

Direct download: Podcast_197_-_TEFAMA_How_The_Brain_Works.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:00am CDT

The food industry is more successful than it's ever been.  Food is cheap, accessible. And many of us are eating A LOT of it.  On this episode, Brian Wansink of the of the Food and Brand Lab of Cornell University joins Kurt and Steve.  

Brian is a leading expert in changing eating behavior – both on an individual level and on a mass scale – using principles of behavioral science. His research focuses on how ads, packaging, and personality traits influence the usage frequency and usage volume of healthy foods. His research on consumption volume has won national and international awards for its relevance to consumers. His findings have been widely featured on 20/20, BBC News, The Learning Channel, all news networks, and on the front pages of the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times. He is also  the author of Mindless Eating (2006) and Slim by Design (2014) as well as over 200 peer-reviewed journal articles. From 2007 until 2009 he was appointed by the White House as the USDA’s CNPP Executive Director in charge of the Dietary Guidelines for 2010 and the Food Guide Pyramid ( He is a former bad open-mic comic and rock sax player. He lives with his wife and three girls in Ithaca, New York, where he enjoys both French food and French fries.

Direct download: Podcast_159.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:57pm CDT


When your prospect is worried or preoccupied with something occurring now or could happen in the future. The wrong type of worry can hinder persuasion. Worry is feeling anxious, uneasy, or concerned about something that may happen, or has already happened. Worry creates anxiety which creates tension—a fear that occupies our thoughts, which if encouraged will grow and continue to dominate our thoughts. I have heard worry referred to as "negative goal setting."

You can combat worry in your prospects by modifying their anxiety. Bring them back to reality by having them realize we can't change many things in the past or forecast the future. Stress that most of the things we worry about are those very things we can't change or control and which won't likely ever happen in the first place. Help your prospects replace their negative mental images with positive ones.  Worry can also be caused by indecision.  Get them to make a series of minor decisions and their worry will decrease.


Anger is a secondary emotion. A prospect's anger is usually an indicator that something else is askew and that he needs or wants attention.  When we are angry – we want attention or action now. You can assist in diminishing his anger by determining the key issue he is upset about. It is also often effective to ask for his help, opinions, or advice. This will usually diffuse his anger or even change his attitude and demeanor completely. In some circumstances, you may want to use anger to make a certain point or to evoke a certain reaction. However when someone is angry they are more likely to blame someone else. In their mind it is not their fault. When they are sad they will usually blame the situation.

When people become angry they tend to rely on intuition or an educated guess.  Anger triggers non analytical information processing.   Anger causes us to use mental shortcuts to decide if the argument is right.  An experiment was done that induced anger. The participants that were angry tended to discriminate between weak and strong persuasive arguments more than those in a neutral mood.  In other words, those that were angry tended to be more influenced by heuristic cues (intuition) than those in a sad or neutral mood.

Direct download: Podcast_158.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:13pm CDT

Did you know that money can buy happiness? A recent study published in “Psychology Today” shows just that. Kurt and Steve discuss the ins and outs of this study and how money certainly can buy happiness…up to a point.

Continuing off of recent episodes, Kurt and Steve cover how we can overcome objections before they ever occur in the first place. This concept is called “inoculation.” The term comes from the medical field, where patients are given a weak form of a virus so that their body can develop an immunity to it. This same concept happens on the psychological level. If we can introduce a weak form of the objection to our prospects, they will be better prepared for when the real one comes along at a later date.

For example, do most of your prospects end up looking for more bids from competitors? Or do they end up getting serious resistance from friends and family? Letting them know very subtly that this will happen beforehand helps them avoid the shock and disappointment that will later surface. They’ll think “hey, you know what? He told me that the competitors would say this, or that my family would think that.”

This even applies when raising children. Unfortunately we know that at some point kids will be exposed to and given the opportunity to take drugs. Pretending this won’t happen just increases the chances that they will be influenced by a drug dealer and not by you as a parent. Letting them know in advance “hey Jr, at some point somebody is going to offer you drugs. If you say know they’ll call you chicken, they’ll make fun of you, etc. But just say no no matter what and come talk to me about it. It’s okay.”

You can’t, nor should you, inoculate against everything. Just pick the two or three most common objections your prospects have and pre solve them with stories, examples, statistics, and testimonials!

Direct download: Podcast_156.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:05pm CDT



Let’s explore the space between offer and acceptance – the space between “yes” and “no” is labels.


“It seems like…” “It sounds like…” “It looks like…”  (Followed by an effective pause.)



It’s critical to not “step” on your label by following it with a question or some sort of an explanation. You’ve got to let them sink in.


“It seems like there’s some flexibility in this package?”


“It sounds like there’s more here?”


“It seems like you have some ranges in mind?”


“It looks like you’ve used certain criteria to come up with this offer?”


Labels are a great way to gather more information and to test positions.  They do it in a way that doesn’t make people feel backed into a corner. They’re effective in place of questions where basically you’d normally be looking for just a “yes” or a “no” and they always get more information. They open up dialog in a really gentle, yet quietly firm way.


Salary negotiations are particularly important because as I’ve said before, people are testing you as both a co-worker and an ambassador. They really don’t want you to be a push-over and they don’t want you to be a jerk. Salary negotiations shouldn’t be limited to just salary. Salary pays your mortgage but terms build your career.


“It seems like there’s a bigger picture here for this position?”


“It looks like your company has a future vision I fit into.”


“It seems like this position fits a broader need within the company.”


“It looks like there’s some built in opportunities for professional development?”


“It looks like this position fits a critical need.”


These labels can also be expressed as statements or questions (upward inflection – question; downward inflection – statement).


Employers appreciate someone with insight who “gets it”. Labels are a great way to demonstrate competence and insight. Both of these are characteristics that either merit a higher offer now, or position you for one down the line.


Please remember, plan for your success with good terms within the overall package that build your career. Labels help you flesh that out and build the success of both your career and your employer!

Direct download: Podcast_157.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:07pm CDT

It is human nature to mirror and match, or to “synchronize” with, the people we connect with.28 We don’t even think about it. It happens so quickly and so subconsciously that without a replay, one is unlikely to even notice it.29 What if you were aware of it? Could it be used to help you be even more persuasive? Research says definitely yes. When you mirror your audience, you build rapport with them.

            Mirroring operates at a subconscious level and demonstrates that the parties are starting to synchronize and get into rapport. People are inclined to follow and obey those they perceive as similar to themselves. If they shift in their posture, you should eventually do so, too. If they cross their legs, you should cross your legs as well. If they smile, you smile, too. When you mirror them, they will subconsciously feel that you have much more in common with them than may actually be the case. Why is this so? He likes you because you are like him. He perceives you the same way he perceives himself. When using mirroring and matching, you want your audience to subconsciously say, “It feels like I have known you for years.” Mirroring speeds up the process of connecting and effectively communicating with anyone.

            Obviously, it is imperative that mirroring and matching come across as natural. Great persuaders know how to mirror or reflect their audience’s actions, not to imitate them. If people think you are imitating them, they may feel mocked and become offended. They will see you as phony, and they will no longer trust you. Instead of directly imitating, just mirror or match the overall tone and demeanor of your prospect. You can safely mirror things such as language, posture, gestures, and mood. The reality is that mirroring is the best predictor of rapport.30


You can develop rapport by mirroring your audience in the following areas:

  • Emotional state
  • Energy level
  • Language
  • Breathing rate
  • Voice patterns and inflections
  • Mood
Direct download: Podcast_155.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:13pm CDT

If all my talents and powers were to be taken from me by some inscrutable Providence, and I had my choice of keeping but one, I would unhesitatingly ask to be allowed to keep the power of speaking, for through it I would quickly recover all the rest.                                                                            —Daniel Webster

Have you happened to notice the dramatic changes that have evolved in presentations, communication, and training over the last twenty years? The basic focus used to be on education. Now, the latest research is all about how to grab your audience’s attention and then maintain their interest. We can no longer focus simply on educating; we must now entertain. We must keep our audiences mentally engaged.

Great persuaders can maintain the attention of their audience. Research shows that people’s attention spans are getting shorter and shorter. You don’t have to be a stand-up comedian, but you do have to make sure your audience sticks with you, your words resonate with them, they pay attention, and they understand you. The moment you lose their attention, you can no longer persuade them. You could have a great Website, be a sharp dresser, publish a great brochure, or have any manner of impressive credentials. The reality is, however, that the number-one persuasion tool is you, and a big part of how you present yourself is through your communication. Long gone are the days of counting on the subject matter to speak compellingly for itself, compensating for your inadequacies as a presenter. Nowadays, you’ve got to get inside your audience’s minds, and you’ve got to get there fast. It can take only seconds before people’s minds start to wander. To combat this tendency, you have to educate, inspire, and entertain with passion, compassion, and purpose.

Great persuaders are great communicators. Well-known motivational speaker and best-selling author Jim Rohm said it best: “When I learned how to effectively persuade and communicate, my income went from six digits to seven digits.” Your communication skills are critical for your success, yet this is another set of overlooked skills that are not effectively taught in school. Communication includes phone skills, face-to-face interactions, group presentations, and even email.

Most persuaders feel, incorrectly, that they have above-average communication skills. Are yours “above average” too? Our research shows that 34 percent of persuaders feel they have mastered the ability to effectively communicate. However, by talking to your audience, we know that your presentation and communication mastery was rated at only 11 percent. Great persuaders work on their presentation skills on a continual basis. There is always something to fine-tune and improve.

The studies show that, on average, a persuader communicates six to eight features of his product or service to his audience, but the average person will only remember one, two, or three of them. In over 40 percent of cases, the person will remember one of the features incorrectly. In 30 percent of cases, the person remembers a feature that was never even mentioned by the persuader. (Ouch!) We also found that 93 percent of persuadees misunderstood some part of a persuader’s message. The worst part is that most of them did not ask a question or even try to seek clarification. Remember, a confused mind says no. A “confused mind,” has to think about it. A “confused mind,” will get back to you. A confused mind is hard to persuade and influence.

Direct download: Podcast_154.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:25pm CDT

Capturing Attention Immediately

What can you do in the first thirty seconds of your encounter to capture your audience’s attention? Can you prove to them that you are worth listening to? Think about this: Every time you communicate with someone, they are paying with either time or money. Your audience is rooting for you; they want you to succeed. They don’t want their time or money wasted any more than you want to waste it. Then why is it getting wasted?

Sometimes when you’re approaching something new, figuring out what you should not do is just as important as figuring out what to do. Let’s first take a look at some communication “complaints.”


  • Speaking in a monotone.
  • Avoiding eye contact.
  • Fidgeting and other annoying mannerisms.
  • Using vocal fillers (“uhm,” “uh,” etc.).
  • Lacking any emotion or conviction.
  • Sounding mechanical or rehearsed.
  • Rushing through the presentation, speaking too fast.
  • Talking down to the audience.
  • Not finding common ground.
  • Failing to help the audience see value in the presentation.
  • Pushing or pressuring the audience.
  • Overloading the audience with too much information.
  • Being disorganized, jumping from one point to the next without any flow.
  • Not checking environment beforehand to limit interruptions and distractions.
  • Exhibiting poor listening skills.
  • Saying the wrong things at the wrong moments.
  • Not adapting to the particular personality or personalities you’re working with.
  • Displaying nervousness and fear.
  • Jumping to conclusions.
  • Constantly interrupting.
  • Pushing a predetermined, one-sided solution.
  • Listening selectively.
  • Not being in tune with audience emotions.
  • Allowing personal emotions to get involved.   
  • Being knowledgeable in an arrogant way.

The good news is most of these things are easily remedied once they are pointed out. We just don’t realize how often we commit them. Great persuaders have found their presentation weaknesses. They record themselves as they present and talk on the phone. Recording yourself will let you step into your audience’s shoes and give you a true-to-life representation that’s easy to evaluate. Plus, there won’t be any second-guessing—the recording doesn’t lie. Sure, it can be a painful exercise, but you will gain invaluable insights that cannot be found in any other way. Remember what they say: “No pain, no gain.” Great persuaders will endure a little pain to maintain their high income.

Direct download: Podcast_153.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:40pm CDT

After discussing a few recent business trips, and of course, the food they ate on those trips, Kurt and Steve discuss a classic blunder: overuse of fear.  Fear is a useful tactic when persuading others.  It is very short term, however.  Kurt and Steve review some techniques to use fear effectively. 

Steve then interviews Kim Ades of Frame of Mind Coaching.  Kim's company is designed specifically to meet the needs of ambitious, highly driven, and successful individuals who want to transform their lives to achieve their biggest goals. 

During this interview, Steve asks Kim about how using a coach can help you see pitfalls that you were never even aware of.  Oftentimes, enhancing productivity involves busy people understanding what it is they really want in the first place and challenging assumptions that they thought were true.  You'll love this interview!


Direct download: Podcast_152.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:03pm CDT

You can use conversational skills as a tool with which to build new connections, while avoiding awkward pauses and uncomfortable conversations. After all, making a good first impression is all about making others feel good when spending time with each of you. Great conversationalists are made, not born.

The following tips will help you make a positive impression every time:

  • Don’t rush through conversations. Take your time, and be sure to remember names and use them frequently during conversations.
  • Show an interest in every person you meet. By showing an interest you are creating a favorable impression of yourself. People, even shy ones, like to talk about themselves, so let them.
  • Be prepared. Before entering an event, take a couple minutes and think of at least three conversation topics. Remind yourself of what you may already know about fellow attendees. Their hobbies, activities or interests. If you happen to encounter an uncomfortable silence, these conversation points will always come in handy.
  • Always maintain eye contact. Eye contact is an easy way to make others feel comfortable, important, and special.
  • Act confident through your body language, even if you are not. Nervous body language {twisting your hair, slouching shoulders, constant hand rubbing} can make others uncomfortable and anxious. Try to be aware of your body language when interacting with others.
  • Be a careful listener. By listening intently to what others are saying, you are not only making them feel important, but you can gather cues you need to keep the conversation going and bridge to new topics.
  • Don’t interrogate a conversational partner. Questions like: “Where are you from?” “Are you married?” “What do you do for a living?” can stop a conversation before it ever really starts.
  • Be respectful of the opinions of others. Not everyone agrees on things, and friendly disagreements can be a gateway to a great conversation. Offer your opinion of your favorite football team, the state of public education today, or the future of the space program. Be sure to follow up with “What do you think?”, or “Tell me your opinion.”
  • Have exit lines prepared. You will probably want to mingle with several people around the room.
Direct download: Podcast_151.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:51am CDT


Have you ever felt like you put in a bunch of work only to pave the way for your competitor?  Many persuaders inadvertently do this only to find out too late that they lost the deal.  The key to avoiding this is generating genuine scarcity.  To create genuine scarcity, make sure you have as much of the following in place:

1.  Deadlines. Give your prospects a deadline or a point of no return. We all operate on deadlines in our personal lives and in our businesses. Deadlines are what cause us to take action. If there is no immediate reason to take action now, we won't. Many people don't pay their bills until they have to. Judging by the lines outside the post office at midnight on April 15th, most of us don't pay our taxes until the last possible second. No deadline, no consequence means no action.
2.  Limited Space, Numbers, or Access. If your prospect feels like they are competing for a limited resource, they will be much more motivated to take action. When people fear they're going to miss out on a great deal, they feel an urgency to act. Think of shoppers at closeout sales. They've got to speed over there and check things out before all the stuff is "picked over." Otherwise, with the store's limited supplies, they'll miss the deal forever! This limit can also include access to information. Our response to banned or secret information is a greater desire to receive that information and a more favorable outlook toward it than we had before the ban was set in place.
3.  Potential Loss. Prospects must recognize that they might be limited in their actions if they don't take advantage of your offer. People will always overvalue the thing you are restricting. Create a state of emotion in which your prospect will fear the loss or negative consequence for not taking action.  This is an overwhelming feeling they won't be able to ignore. Motivated by restriction, your prospect becomes an emotionally motivated buyer. They will not be denied. The more you deny them, the more energy you give to your cause. You have denied their right to something, so they'll do anything to have it.
4.  Restrict Freedom. We want what we can't have. When we are told a product is or will soon be unavailable, we want it even more. Our desire goes up and so does the urgency to act. Create a scenario where you tell your prospect that the offer is only good for so long. Tell them they have to act now to take advantage of the opportunity or they will lose out. This technique works so well because we have all walked away from offers like this before, and they weren’t there when we returned. Walk through clearance stores and you will see "Sold" signs on the furniture. These signs create urgency because somebody else has found a deal, and so should we.
Direct download: Podcast_150.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:34pm CDT

What is your message? What do you have to share that will make a difference in people’s lives? What is your main objective, the key thing you hope to accomplish? You’ve got to understand the big picture. Then, with the big picture in mind, you have to get more specific. Do you have a clear vision of how your product, service, or idea will help your audience? You’ve got to know your product inside and out, its pros and cons and how it stacks up against the competition. Use the following list, distilled from the work of great persuaders, to give some direction to your process of preparing and refining your message:


•           What do I want to accomplish?

•           If I had to boil my message down to three main points, what would they be?

•           How can I demonstrate my expertise?

•           How can I increase my trustworthiness with this audience?

•           What are the emotional reasons that will prompt my audience to respond?

•           What are the logical reasons that will prompt my audience to respond?

•           What is my “call to action”?

•           What are some alternatives to my initial proposal?

•           Does my plan have any potential pitfalls?

•           What are the top five doubts or objections I will encounter? How will I respond?

•           What information should I gather about my audience? My competition?

Direct download: Podcast_149.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:12am CDT

When Steve asked Kurt how he was doing before the show started, he did not expect that Kurt would tell him that he just got done dealing with a bear in his backyard.  Well, he didn't deal with it...animal control did.  But we're proud that Kurt didn't scream like a little girl when it happened!  Here's a picture:

Kurt and Steve also give some sound advice that was once also given by the leading salesman of a Northeastern mid-size paper supply company.  The advice is timeless and will echo through the ages. 

After an unusual amount of banter, Kurt and Steve decide to get into something that matters: negotiation.  Clients and customers expect to play the game.  So what do you do if there is no game to play? 

It is a natural tendency for us to take in information and interpret it in a manner that will best serve our personal wants and needs. We do not always do this consciously. What’s more, the converse is also true in that we often pass over information that is critical to understanding the other side, particularly when the other side is in conflict with us. We naturally enhance our own position while vilifying the opposition’s. The result is that perceptions and beliefs are based on information that is highly inaccurate and exaggerated. Especially striking examples of this oppositional bias are seen in the Israelis and Palestinians or the Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland.

A famous Harvard study involved giving some executives insider information about one company’s plans to acquire another. The executives were randomly assigned to role play the part of either the buyer or the seller. Unbeknownst to them, the information given to each side was identical. After analyzing the information, the executives each had to give their private assessment of the company’s fair value (as opposed to how they might present that value in negotiations). Not surprisingly, the executives playing the part of “seller” gave values that were more than double those offered by those who were playing the role of “buyers.” Interestingly, the results were driven by what would best serve the party in her/his randomly assigned role.

It is to be expected that each negotiating side will bring its own biases to the table. Simply knowing that these biases exist will help those involved in negotiation to not be caught off guard. Put yourself in the other side’s shoes and think of what their most powerful case could be. This empathizing tactic always sheds light on new thoughts and ideas that you might not have thought of otherwise. Lastly, it will never hurt you to seek the input of an uninvolved third party.

Direct download: Podcast_148.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:45am CDT

Let’s talk a bit about deception.  I don’t need to say it here, but I will.  Deception is wrong and does trigger incongruence.  On the flip the side the challenge you could have is that when you get nervous or uneasy you might be showing signs or deception.  What I am saying here is that even if you are telling the truth and think you are congruent, you might be sending signals of incongruency and deception.  The audience can’t always identify exactly what is making them distrustful, but they feel that way and that is all that matters to them.  What happens is we all have micro expressions that happen so rapidly the conscious mind can’t see them, but the subconscious can sense them.  These are quick mannerisms in the face that reveal deception or nervousness.  Another one that causes an increase in their deception radar is a disconnect between your emotion and your reaction.  For example if you make an angry face, then hit the table with your hand 5 seconds later, that would be an obvious red flag you are not feeling that emotion.  Careful that you are congruent with every aspect of your message.

Everyone can pick up on your nonverbal behavior.  We sense something is not quite right.  Others will sense when there is any form of incongruence or deception radiating from you.  Be aware that many of your nonverbal behaviors that you are currently doing will trigger incongruence.  It might be a natural part of your behavior, but it could look like deception.  Things that could trigger deception:


  • Forced eye contact
  • Shifting back in chair
  • Rubbing or touching lips
  • Scratching your face
  • Dilated pupils
  • Yawning
  • Pitch of voice rising   
Direct download: Podcast_147.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:11am CDT

It's the 4th of July, so Kurt and Steve did what they do best: took their boats out and bbq'd!  Back by popular demand, however, is the episode they did on Charismatic Power.  Check it out!

Direct download: Podcast_146.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:04pm CDT


  1. "He kept his promises." Promises made during the persuasion process are fulfilled. Persuaders are honest and realistic in what they promise—they don't build false hopes or expectations. They "underpromise and overdeliver"—not the other way around!
  2. "She's really dependable." Successful persuaders proactively give their audience the attention they deserve, doing everything in their power to resolve any problem or concern. They are reliable; nothing stops them from getting the job done or from getting a call back.
  3. "He's clearly very well trained." Successful persuaders know the ins and outs of their product, including its strengths and weaknesses and how it stacks up against the competition. A great persuader is always an expert on the product, service, or idea he is handling.
  4. "She was very sincere, very genuine." Real persuaders don't act like they're just out for a hefty commission. They are sincerely interested in their audience and have their best interests in mind.
  5. "I consider him a friend." Taking the time to build rapport pays off. Personable, likable, caring, and friendly persuaders make the grade. They know that people buy from people they like.
  6. "She'd never argue with us." A good persuader is not so bent on making a point that she argues with her prospects. She is not consumed with her own need to be right; she knows she will not persuade by demonstrating that her audience is wrong, misinformed, or uneducated.
  7. "He provides solutions that work!" Helping an audience visualize their success brings the persuader and audience together to illustrate how the product or service will get them there.
  8. "She always takes 100 percent responsibility." No matter what happens, a great persuader accepts full responsibility for results. When challenges present themselves, she deals with those challenges rather than making excuses.
  9. "I can tell he is really behind his products." Successful persuaders love what they offer. They know they cannot get someone to believe in their product more than they do.
  10. "She is honest." It is always clear where a great persuader stands. She is always honest with herself and with others. From this position of strength, she is the audience's friend, advisor, and advocate.
  11. "He's really entertaining—his visits are always a treat." Winning persuaders are fun and enjoyable to talk to. They help others feel good about themselves and put smiles on people's faces. They are full of charisma, love to be around people, and are the ones to bring light to a room. Their presentations are lively, engaging, and informative.
Direct download: Podcast_145.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:50pm CDT

You know we love talking about "Negotiaton's Dirty Deeds."  A recent article by the Harvard Business Review gave some great pointers on deflecting some of the more common negotiation tactics.  

One of the best ways to insure a smooth transaction is through managing your clients expectations correctly.  Persuaders are most effective when they're persuading, not when they're stuck resolving client questions and concerns that could have been avoided in the first place.  On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss this very issue.  

Expectations as Assumptions: Expect with Confidence

Consider the profound impact this can have in your own life. Are the assumptions and expectations you have about yourself (or others) liberating or victimizing? There are countless examples of "self-fulfilling prophecies," or the Law of Expectations at work in everyday life. Ever notice how people who think they're going to be fired suddenly experience a drop in the quality and enthusiasm for their work? Then what happens? They get fired! Their belief causes them to act a certain way, and those expectations then work to bring about the very thing that at first was only a figment of their imagination.

There was a study done on a military base that was used to train combat soldiers.  They created two groups of soldiers of equal aptitude and were randomly selected into three groups.  Now these 3 groups were assigned 3 different types of instructor’s.  One was high expectancy, regular expectancy and unspecified expectancy.  We already know the high expectancy group that was expected to perform better, scored significantly higher on achievement tests, felt more positive and had better attitudes.

In another study, second graders listened to statements from their teachers before taking a math test. There were three types of statements: expectation, persuasion, or reinforcement. The expectation statements went something like, "You know your math really well!" or "You work really hard at your math." Persuasion statements involved sentences like, "You should be good at math." or "You should be getting better math grades." Finally, for the reinforcement statements, teachers said things like, "I'm really happy about your progress" or "This is excellent work!" Now, what do you think the results were? The scores were the highest in the "expectation" category! Why were the expectation statements the most effective? They created personal assumptions within each student. Those assumptions conditioned the actual external results.

This can also be called implicit priming.  Let’s look at a few studies and how to apply this.  A study was done where they asked participants to complete a scrambled sentenced in a puzzle.  They were shown various groups of words to create these sentences.  Some of the participants were shown rude type words (obnoxious, aggressively, annoyingly, disturb, interrupt, impolitely).

The other group was shown polite type words (respect, courteous, considerate, patiently, polite, and behaved).  When they went to the next room to complete a second task they would find the experimenter with another student trying to explain a task that the student could not comprehend. The group that was primed with the rude words waited an average of 5.5 minutes and the group primed with the polite words waited an average of 9.3 minutes.

Here is an interesting study. Watch how these numbers prime your brain. Participants were given this set of numbers and were told to estimate (not calculate) the answer in 5 seconds.

8 x 7 x 6 x 5 x 4 x 3 x 2 x 1

Than they would find another person to estimate the following numbers:

1 x 2 x 3 x 4 x 5 x 6 x 7 x 8

Now logically we know the estimation should be the same for both (40,320). Remember one group was primed with the 8 in front of the problem and the other group was primed with the 1 in front of the problem. The average estimation for the first problem was 2250. The average estimation for the second problem was 512.  Isn’t it interesting how no one even came close to the right answer.

Direct download: Podcast_144.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:02pm CDT

Francis Bacon once said, "Knowledge itself is power." Knowledge power is based on proficiency in a certain subject, procedure, or situation. Remember that you are the expert. People can be persuaded if they think you have more knowledge or expertise than they do. For example, lawyers, mechanics, and doctors possess knowledge power. People rely on these professionals' opinions, believe what they say, and trust implicitly what they do because of the extent of schooling or experience they have. We accept the arguments and data of people we assume have knowledge, whether it's real or perceived. In addition to coming from formal education and training, knowledge power also comes from life experience and innate intelligence and aptitude.

Great persuaders use three different types of knowledge power: informational, resource, and expertise:

1.  Informational power. When you know something others need to know, you hold power over them. Informational power is exercised when someone needs, wants, or desires the information, facts, or data you possess. As Aristotle Onassis said, "The secret of business is to know something that no one else knows."

2.  Resource power. If you have access to key persons, commodities, goods, or services that are valued by others, you hold some power over them. As the saying goes, "It's not what you know; it's who you know." Are you perceived as having the right affiliations? What connections do you have?

3.  Expertise power. When you have special skill sets, expertise, or knowledge that others believe is relevant to their needs and which exceeds their own, they will do what you say or listen to your opinions. Why are you the expert?


Direct download: Podcast_143.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:43pm CDT

On this episode, Kurt and Steve interview Wes Schaeffer, the Sales Whisperer!

There are ways to start implementing empathy in your daily contacts and conversations.  It does take some practice and evaluation.  After every encounter ask yourself what do you do well and what can you do better next time.  Try these steps to increase your empathy.

•           Mentally prepare yourself to hear the message

•           Listen with your ears, heart and mind

•           Read their body language

•           Evaluate the true message sent          

•           Acknowledge the feelings and emotions being displayed

•           Practice taking on their perspective

•           Respond with empathy


Sure empathy takes some effort, but it is worth every moment until you perfect this skill.  You will be more trustworthy, empathetic, charismatic and it also increases productivity and inspires commitment.  Our rushed modern life does not cultivate the mindset or skills of empathy.  You need to look for opportunities to develop empathy.  Just start off by asking yourself two questions during your conversations.    “How would I feel if I were that person?” and “Why are they feeling that way?”  Practice that today.  Find one person you can demonstrate empathy and show them you truly care.

Direct download: Podcast_141.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:59pm CDT

Happy Memorial Day!, 

If you're not in the US, we hope you had a great Monday, May 30!

If you have a tough negotiation coming up where your opponent will play the empathy card, we have good news. Acetaminophen can dull your sense of empathy! So next time you need to negotiate, pop some tylenol and turn yourself into a cold blooded shark of a negotiator.  

How Moods Can Affect Persuasion

Moods affect our thinking, our judgment, and our willingness to say yes. When the person you are trying to persuade is in a good mood, they are more likely to accept your offer. The opposite is also true. If they're not in a good mood, chances are much higher they won't bite. This is a huge advantage to you when it comes to persuasion. Great persuaders create the right mood. Great persuaders actually put people in a happy state. When we are feeling happy, we tend to think happy thoughts and to retrieve happy ideas and experiences from memory. Conversely, when we are in a negative mood, we tend to think unhappy thoughts and to retrieve negative information from memory.

If you can influence the mood, you minimize the likelihood of objections and resistance. How do you influence mood? The most important thing is to make sure you are in a good mood yourself. Even if your audience is in a good mood initially, a bad mood on your part will quickly dampen their spirits (even if you are trying to hide it). Then, your chances at successful persuasion decrease significantly.

One particular study demonstrated just how much the moods and attitudes of those around us influence our responses. Three individuals sat down to a meal together—two who were in on the study, and one who was unknowingly being evaluated on whether or not his companions altered his opinion of the food. The two conducted themselves in a very disagreeable manner and were unpleasant and contentious. On another occasion, this same individual was brought back to the same place and offered the same food. The only difference was he was given different table companions. This time around, the company was fun, interesting, and enjoyable. How do you think his evaluations of the food differed? You guessed it—the first evaluation was negative, while the second was positive, even though the food itself was identical from the one situation to the next.

There is evidence across the board that mood is a major factor in persuasion. Even simple mood-boosting methods like eating a good snack or listening to pleasant music have been shown to make people easier to persuade.  An interviewer who is in a good mood tends to assign higher ratings to job applicants.  Happy moods also increase creativity, which is critical for great persuaders.  Consumers who are in a good mood will be more aware of positive qualities in products or experiences they encounter.  And as any kid has already figured out, parents who are in good moods tend to be more lenient.

Just to reinforce the point, I will highlight one other study. The study was conducted in a hotel room that did not have a window or any other means by which the occupant could know what the weather was like. When the guest ordered room service, the server would describe the weather as cold and rainy, cold and sunny, warm and rainy, or warm and sunny. How do you think these pleasant or not-so-pleasant reports affected the amount of the server's tip? Interestingly, it did not seem to make much difference whether it was warm or cold, but when the weather was reported to be sunny, tips increased by 26.65 percent!

Direct download: Podcast_142.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:31pm CDT

Did you know that if you think about what you ate earlier in the day, you're proven to snack less?  Kurt and Steve discuss a recent article by Psychology Today that studies this phenomenon.  

Size of packaging, color, position...all of these things subconsciously influence what your prospect buys...and how much they buy.  On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss some recent books and studies that delve into how much we eat...and why you should care as a persuader. 

Atmosphere can also include the tension in the air. Is there a rush, or are customers relaxed? What type of climate are you trying to create? Do you want a quick, fast decision, or do you want your customers to feel comfortable enough to stay for a while? An interesting study on what happens when you create an atmosphere of being rushed can be seen in the following example:

Princeton University psychologists John Darley and Daniel Batson wanted to see how students would respond if they were in a situation replicating the biblical account of the Good Samaritan.  As the story goes, a band of thieves beat, robbed, and left a man traveling alone by the roadside to die. A devout priest and a reputable Levite passed by. Neither of the men stopped to help the dying man. Finally, a Samaritan, stopped to help him. The Samaritan bound up his wounds, took him to an inn, and even paid the innkeeper to care for him until he returned.

Darley and Batson asked seminarians on a one-on-one basis to prepare and present a short speech on an assigned biblical topic. The test was set up so that on their way to the location where they would deliver their speech, each student would cross a man slumped over, coughing and groaning. Which students would actually stop and help? Before preparing their speeches, the students filled out a questionnaire asking why they had chosen to study theology. Then a variety of speech topics were assigned, including the story of the Good Samaritan. As the students were leaving to deliver their speeches, some were told, "You'd better hurry. They were expecting you about three minutes ago." Others were told, "They won't be ready for a few minutes, but you may as well head over now."

Now, most people would assume that seminarians stating on their questionnaires that they had chosen to study theology so they could help people and who were then assigned to speak on the Good Samaritan would be the ones most likely to stop and help the ailing man on their way. Interestingly, neither of those two factors seemed to make much of a difference. In fact, Darley and Batson stated, "Indeed, on several occasions, a seminary student going to give his talk on the parable of the Good Samaritan literally stepped over the victim as he hurried on his way." The element that seemed to be most influential was whether or not the student was rushed. Of the students who were told they were already a little late, only 10 percent stopped to help. Of the students who were told they had a little bit more time, 63 percent stopped to help.

We can learn from this example that we can create atmospheres where people are so involved that they ignore other factors they normally would not ignore.  On the flip side, if participants are too relaxed than they become difficult to persuade.

Direct download: Podcast_140.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:25pm CDT

Kurt and Steve begin this episode by discussing how in anything we do, we default down to the level of our training.  Whether it's a sport, self defense, language, or persuasion...the mind and body default to what their trained to do when they are stressed.  Bottom line is when you need to persuade it's too late to learn!  Go to for some awesome ways you can train to be a better persuader!

This isn't a surprise to you, but walking through the first class cabin when boarding makes coach passengers more prone to "air rage."  Kurt and Steve discuss this article and how airlines are violating the law of expectations.  Airlines are such an easy one to criticize.  Almost as easy as politicians.  

How do you use mental programming effectively? The first step is to channel your emotional energies into specific desires. You're unlikely to get very far if you don't even have the desire in the first place. Embracing what's closest to your heart will unleash your greatest energy, imagination, and potential. And just like striking oil, you will experience a surge of greater productivity than you have ever had in your life. This burning desire will allow you to transform mediocre abilities into amazing successes…above and beyond what you ever thought possible.

After you have a specific desire in mind, let it simmer in your subconscious for awhile. Many great persuaders work on "programming" right before they fall asleep. As the conscious mind winds down, the subconscious mind kicks into gear. You can take advantage of this transition to turn your thoughts and desires over to the subconscious mind to work on. As you drift off to sleep, try to summon the feelings and emotions that will accompany your success. Vividly imagine the events, the people, and the places that will get you where you want to go.

The subconscious mind cannot discern that which is real from that which is vividly imagined. It will accept the positive or negative suggestions that it is given, particularly if they are accompanied by and reinforced with relevant feelings, emotions, and vivid details.  You can powerfully program your mind into believing certain things have actually happened. When your mind pre-accepts your victories as already won, you're halfway there. You'll find that promptings, instinct, and intuitions begin to emerge. You'll find yourself thinking, talking, and behaving in a more positive and productive way. In short, all of your energies will be aimed at your goals.

Direct download: Podcast_139_1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:52am CDT

An interesting study was conducted with dentists, whereby an ad was put in the newspaper asking for people to participate in a painful dental procedure.11 The first amazing thing about it was that people actually showed up. During the first part of the study, the dentists were told that they would only pretend to use a painkiller on their patients. A placebo would actually be given. The dentists were instructed to do everything just as they would normally do during the procedure. Most of the patients in this half of the study felt pain during their dental procedure. During the second half of the study, the dentists were told to perform the exact same procedure, except this time they would be administering a real painkiller to their patients. When told that the dentist was going to numb their mouths, most of these patients did not feel pain. The reality was, however, that unbeknownst to dentist or patient, a placebo had again been administered again in place of the painkiller. Even though in the dentists’ minds they had performed the exact same procedure with both sets of patients, the first group of patients picked up on incongruities in the dentists’ behavior. Consciously or subconsciously, they knew that something was wrong and thus felt pain.

Are you congruent with your history, your last interaction, and your reputation? Does your nonverbal behavior match your actions? Are your emotions congruent with your message? What are your audience’s expectations of you and your message? When your past history and your message don’t match, flags of incongruity will wave in your audience’s face. Suspicion will be roused and your audience will start to look for things that are wrong with you or your message. This inconsistency will decrease your ability to gain influence and trust. That’s because humans are natural lie detectors. When we attempt to fake congruence, we must also spend our time and energy trying to fake our message.

Direct download: Podcast_138.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:05pm CDT

How do you overcome this lack of credibility? Here are several ideas great persuaders use to boost their credibility:  

            1. In this very skeptical world your prospect is looking for a weakness. If you don’t give them some type of weakness (personal or product), they will assign a weakness for you. Great persuaders increase credibility by revealing an apparent weakness and turning that perceived weakness into a desired benefit.

            2. Credibility is enhanced by every minute of preparation. Great persuaders never “wing it” or leave anything to chance. If your audience ever feels you should know the answer but don’t, you have lost credibility. Plan, rehearse and polish your presentation. Always research your audience.

            3. Your audience is going to judge you in the first thirty seconds. How do you really look? How are you really coming across? Can you maintain eye contact? Is your appearance professional, polished, and what your audience expects.

            4. When you enter a low-credibility situation or when you audience does not know you, borrow the credibility from someone else. Who can endorse or recommend you? Who can introduce you that already has credibility with your audience? Learn to always ask and get testimonials from happy current clients.

            5. One of the quickest ways to lose your credibility is to badmouth the competition. You don’t have to resort to pulling down others to enhance your own product or service. If you can’t persuade based on the quality of your product or service, it is time to change careers. If the consumer needs to be legitimately warned about the competition, provide ways for them to find out for themselves.

            6. Pepper your presentation with credible facts, figures, statistics, or studies to reinforce your message. Never assume your audience thinks you are credible without using outside resources. Always remember to cite your sources.  Your audience will always believe someone else before they will start to believe you.

            7. Find ways to reveal your qualifications without coming across as a braggart. You need to reveal (or display) your expertise, qualifications, education, and experience so you will come across as the expert. The moment your audience accepts you as the expert, you have their undivided attention. Reveal to your audience why you are the expert and why you have earned the right to persuade about your product, service or idea.

Direct download: Podcast_137.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:48pm CDT

One of the key ways to keep your competency on track is to be a lifetime learner. We consider others to be competent when we see them continually learning and advancing their training and education. I can remember going to buy computer products and discovering that I knew more about the product than the sales reps did (and I didn’t know much). In an attempt to cover up their lack of knowledge, these ill-informed salespeople tried to bluff their way through my questions. If they had kept themselves educated about the product, the field, and the industry, then they would not have lost my trust in them as competent professionals—and they would not have lost a customer. Learn to become the best in your field. Demonstrate you know your area of expertise. You should know more about your subject than 99 percent of the population.


The following are some specific ways you can gain and strengthen your competence, both actual and perceived:


  • Degree(s)
  • Professional standing
  • Affiliations with respected organizations
  • Publications
  • Referrals
  • Endorsements
  • Reputation
  • External surroundings
  • Definite opinions
  • Testimonials
  • Passion
Direct download: Podcast_136.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:42am CDT

After briefly mentioning it on last week's episode, Kurt and Steve quickly learned that most have a lot of "feelings about" the urban phenomena, RBF (otherwise known as Resting Bitch Face).  So they dived in a little more and wouldn't you know it...there's an actual website that will tell you if you have it!  All we ask is that if you do, you send us your picture to  We want to see what RBF looks like!

Ingratiation: Make Others Feel Important

Ingratiation is gaining favor by deliberate effort. Ingratiation techniques can include compliments, flattery, and agreeableness. Ingratiation can also involve a special recognition of someone such as, "We don't usually do this, but in your case I'm going to make an exception," or "I am personally going to take care of this matter and see that you get what you want." Many people consider ingratiation sucking up or brown-nosing, but it is an effective technique for making others more persuadable. The reason this strategy works is because The Law of Esteem increases likability and promotes an increase in their self-esteem

Research has demonstrated these conclusions about using ingratiation. In one study, "ingratiators" were perceived as more competent, motivated, and qualified for leadership positions by their supervisors.  In another study, subordinates who used ingratiation developed an increased job satisfaction for themselves, their coworkers, and their supervisor.  In yet another study, ingratiators enjoyed a 5 percent edge over noningratiators in earning more favorable job evaluations.  Ingratiation works even when it is perceived as a deliberate effort to win someone over. Our esteem is so starved that we accept any flattery or praise we can get. 

Interesting Ingratiation Facts

•           It is better to use one great effective ingratiation method, than lots of smaller ones or in other words, less is more.


•           Ingratiators will be judged more positively using opinion or compliments conformity by the prospect than by a bystander.


•           Ingratiation will always work better when we are using downward influence (coworker, employee, you are their manager)


•           When we are attempting upward influence. (boss, CEO, power player)  Using apology, self- deprecation are more successful when you are persuading up or there is a large difference in status.  Using favors or compliments have little effect.


•           When ingratiating someone and they know you have an ulterior motive and it is transparent it will likely fail and decrease their liking towards you.

Direct download: Podcast_135.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:02pm CDT

The worst thing for a persuader is that your audience members probably won’t ever confront you about your dishonesty or deception. They are not going to tell you that they think you are lying. They’ll just never work with you again and they’ll then tell all their family and friends about the bad experience they had with you behind your back.


Even if you’re an honest person of admirable character, it is human nature for people to cast sweeping judgments and formulate opinions without all the facts.  So, if you want genuine trust and lasting persuasion, you must avoid even the slightest appearance of anything that might be considered dishonest.  If you never place yourself in a situation where one might be misled about you or your integrity, then your good, hard-earned reputation will never be compromised.  Don’t embellish the story to make it sound better; don’t omit certain information to cover your own skin.      


What are some nonverbal behaviors that will trigger incongruence and a sense of deception?


Forced eye contact

Shifting back in chair

Rubbing lips

Scratching your face

Dilated pupils


Pitch of voice rising

Direct download: Podcast_134.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:34am CDT

self-perception bias

Ever wonder why others can’t smell their own stink? (perfume or body order)  We are good at judging others and finding out what is wrong with them, but that analysis does not seem to work on ourselves.  The same is true for our skills.  We have to have the ability to honestly access ourselves – both our strengths and weaknesses.  Then find the skills and the discipline to improve our faults.  We always will feel we must gloss over our weaknesses to make things seem better than they actually are. We also lie to ourselves about our incomes, our debt, and our true weight.  When you ask husbands and wives individually about what percent of the housework they each do – the numbers never add up.  Most people will rate their people skills as above average.  We all know that is not true.  If you want to see human blindness and bias in action, all you have to do is go to a sporting event as a neutral party and listen to the bias and comments of each opposing side.


The Research

To hit this point home we need to discover our own weaknesses and be honest with our own personal reality.  Let’s take a look at some of the studies on self perception bias.  To enhance your success and your influence, you need to know exactly what skills you have mastered and which ones you need work on.  Isn’t it amazing how we tend to overestimate everything from grades and physical appearance to the possibility of divorce.   If you were in sales and you were asked to rate your ability to connect with people or your product knowledge, you would be 90 percent likely to rate yourself above average on these skills, even though mathematically the validity of your assertion should be around 50 percent.     You know all those managers you have met over the years?  Over 90 percent of them will rate themselves better than the average manager.   Did you know 80% of individuals may perceive themselves as being brighter, better drivers and more able entrepreneurs than their average peers.   One study even found that most people believe they are more ___________ than the average person.  

•           Athletic

•           Intelligent

•           Organized

•           Ethical

•           Logical

•           Interesting

•           Fair-minded

•           Attractive 


The Solution

It is all about true self-assessment.  When I teach influence or self mastery seminars I ask my students to list the top ten reasons for their lack of success.  They find plenty of reasons why it is not their fault for their inability to achieve their goals, but they rarely take ownership of their weaknesses or admit that it could be them.  You can always ask yourself - What traits do I need to develop to take my life, my career and my income to the next level?  My research of human nature shows that there are five critical areas that most people assess to have much higher skills than they actually have.  When other people assess themselves of these skills, their scores are much lower.  These are the five areas.


1.         People skills/empathy

2.         Persistence/determination

3.         Communication/listening

4.         Personal mastery

5.         Persuasion skills

Direct download: Podcast_133.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:16pm CDT

Keeping Attention:   A Bored Mind Says NO!

It is common sense to realize you have to keep your audience's attention in order to persuade them.  If you lose them, you lose your chance for them to understand and accept your proposal.  We know from our own personal experience that we tend to let our minds naturally drift when we are listening to other people.  We cannot focus on one item for too long unless we are forced to do so.  Master Persuaders can make a person want to pay attention and stay focused.  You may lose your audience’s attention from time to time but it is your job to bring them back to full attention status.  You can help your prospect lose track of time.

Some estimate that the average adult attention span is about 18 minutes.  What’s more, studies indicate that attention spans have been decreasing steadily over the past decade.  After our attention span is lapsed, we fall into boredom and no longer listen.  You have to be creative to maintain the mental involvement that is required to persuade a mind.  One way to keep the mind harnessed is to give your audience enough time to process what you are telling them. You can tell by the look in their eyes if you have lost them.  I'm sure you have taken seminars or college classes where you have been completely lost.  When the professor asks questions, you don't raise your hand because you have no idea what is going on.  Give your listeners enough time to absorb what you're saying, but obviously not so long that they become totally bored and detached.


Some more ideas on ways to help people choose to pay attention:


•Use questions                                   

•Make startling statements

•Use quotes                            

•Change mediums

•Speak in the first person       

•Present new and innovative ideas


You can see that these techniques are used to grab back the attention of your listeners when their minds have started wandering.  Employed properly they will bring your audience’s attention back to you.

Direct download: Podcast_132_1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:28am CDT

The old-school approach to persuasion put a lot of the emphasis on the final outcome: clinching the deal, closing the sale. Back then, it was a lot more about getting the sale than having a true and lasting relationship with an actual person. The problem with being so closing-oriented is that a persuasive encounter is not a static, one-sided arrangement. The “persuadee” is not some brainless lump who will unquestioningly accept everything you say. They are living, breathing human beings, which means the exchange is two-sided. You have to establish rapport very early on, making a good and lasting first impression, and you have to keep the rapport going.

Many persuaders don’t know how to maintain rapport throughout the entire exchange. They’re good at breaking the ice and helping their audience feel comfortable, but when it comes to “getting down to business,” all of a sudden their demeanor changes. Their light-hearted, jovial manner may turn into intense seriousness as they launch into “the bottom line.” When this transformation takes place, what is the audience supposed to think? The person they were joking around with for the past ten minutes has now completely morphed into someone else. Which one is the real person? 

 Great persuaders don’t focus on their persuasive encounters in terms of initial “kick-off” and final “closing.” They maintain rapport and connection by keeping the exchange emotionally and logically on the same plane. Think of your audience as a friend you will see and do business with again. Do not allow yourself any abrupt mood changes; be flexible and willing to adjust to the many moods and emotions your audience may go through.

Direct download: Podcast_131.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:40am CDT

This week's article is sure to offend some listeners.  If you're a short man or an overweight woman, the British Medical Journal has bad news for you.  Hey were just the messenger!  Check out their recent study linking hight, body mass, and socio-economic status.  

"Price is what you pay.  Value is what you get."  -Warren Buffett

The Law of Contrast explains how we are affected when we are introduced to two different alternatives or options in succession. We know that contrasting two alternatives can distort or amplify our perceptions of price, time or effort. Generally, if the second item is quite different from the first, we will tend to see them even more differently than they actually are. As a Power Persuader, you can use this contrast to navigate your audience toward the object of your persuasion.

The use of contrast is based on our perception of items or events that happen one right after the other. If you've had a rotten day because you found out you're losing your job and you come home to a new scratch on your car, you will have a different reaction than if you were having a great day because you're getting a promotion and then came home to the scratch on your car. It's the same scratch, but there are very different perceptions and reactions to it.  Contrast is used for negotiations.  When we offer a really low or high bid or when we ask for $200 and only expect $50. This is contrast. What if you thought it was a 60 minute meeting and then it only took 30 minutes.  What if that 15 minute meeting lasted 30 minutes?

This is all about human perception. The human mind has to find a benchmark or comparison to make judgments, especially when we are talking about unfamiliar situations or new products. People need to make comparisons with their past experience and knowledge. The brain will always attempt to contrast your product or service. Is it the best or worst, cheapest or most expensive? Is your product the safe or risky choice or is it familiar or strange? By presenting your prospects with contrast, you are creating those comparisons for them. The mind can't process everything at once and so it develops shortcuts to help make decisions. Instead of making a completely internal judgment, we look for boundaries, patterns, and polar opposites. We want to know the difference between our options, so we naturally contrast the two items. We mentally create a value or price in our mind from highest to lowest. Do you want your prospects to compare your product or service to a second-hand used car or to a Rolls Royce? You get to decide where you want them to start their benchmark.  

Adjusting Value Examples  

Bonuses - 3 bonuses worth $25 each have more value than to get one bonus worth $75

Product – Having all your product arrive in one box has less value than receiving 3 separate shipments.

Retail – Keeping the high prices at a grocery store increases the perception of value and savings when the savings is shown on the receipt

Cars – We feel like we get a better deal on a car when we see the large retail price, and we get a rebate. 

Payments - It is easier to swallow the monthly payments on a large purchase rather than seeing the whole price tag upfront.

Gas – Getting a 10 cent discount when you pay cash is easier to swallow than a 10 cent surcharge for using your credit card.

Payroll – There is higher perceived income when you separate all their benefits on their check versus putting it all in one large sum.

Negotiation – Starting as high or low as possible will get you better terms.

Direct download: Podcast_130.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:05am CDT

All human beings yearn for direction and guidance. That’s why someone with a vision is so alluring and influential to us.  Charismatics are able to create a strong clear vision of the future.  People will jump on board when they can see that there is a solid vivid vision in place that they can touch, taste, feel, or see.  No one wants to get on a sinking ship.  People want to know: What’s the plan?  Where are we going?  What are we aiming for?  Your goal is to powerfully present how your vision is the solution to their problems. Your vision must bridge the gap between their present situation and their desired situation—where they are, and where they want to be.

Vision is powerful because it keeps us focused on the future objective instead of getting stuck in the current preoccupations of the day.  It gives us focus and purpose for the future.  It creates a big picture.  A cohesive common vision brings people together and unites them toward the same goals and objectives.  Charismatic people have a clearly defined vision and are filled with great enthusiasm and expectation.  Remember more than anything else in life, vision—whether it’s yours or somebody else’s—dictates your daily decisions.  When the vision is clear, the right decisions are easier to make.

A true vision diminishes the fear of failure, negative thinking and promotes synergy.  They want to know what is in for them in the long-term.  Why should they support you and your vision?  How does this affect the whole team?  Your vision builds a bridge from the present status quo to the future objective.

Direct download: Podcast_129.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:58pm CDT

Have you noticed the dramatic changes that have evolved in presentations, communication, and training over the last twenty years? The basic focus used to be on education. Many people are still trying to educate and they always lose their audiences.  Now, the latest research is all about how to grab and keep your audience’s attention, while maintaining charisma.  We can no longer focus simply on educating; we must now entertain and influence.  We must keep our audiences attention.  We must be charismatic.

Charismatic people can maintain and earn the attention of their audience.  We know that people’s attention spans are getting shorter and shorter. You don’t have to dance around or be stand-up comedian, but you do have to make sure your audience follows your message, that your words resonate with them, they pay attention, and they understand your message.  The moment you lose their attention, you can no longer influence them and they definitely can’t feel any charisma.  

You could have a great product or cause, be a sharp dresser, publish a great brochure, or even have impressive credentials.  The reality is, however, that the number-one persuasion tool is you, and a big part of how you present yourself and your charisma is through your ability to communicate.  Long gone are the days of hoping people will listen, making them listen or hoping the topic will compensate for your weaknesses as a presenter.   Practice your presentation so it becomes part of you, instead of a slick PowerPoint or a tired outline.  Manage your fear, anxiety or nervousness, so you can radiate charisma.  

Direct download: Podcast_128.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:08pm CDT

On episode 127 of Maximize Your Influence, Kurt and Steve start by discussing a recent article, the 7 Mental Blocks to Being Rich.  They then transition to part two of their series on qualities of great leaders. 

Intuition is a big part of your future success.  Intuition helps you read and understand people.  It comes in an instant and we have to be ready to act simultaneously.  Some call it a hunch, gut reaction or a feeling.  Intuition is real and can be harnessed to increase your ability to influence and transmit charisma.  Leaders who are able to distinguish between random thoughts and intuition are more successful in life and in business.  Face it, just take a look at CEO’s of large corporations.  They have access to all the logical research they need to make a good, educated decision.  The successful ones will admit that ultimately they have to follow their heart and use personal intuition.  Studies show that the majority of people use intuition, but had a difficult time verbalizing to others why or how it worked. 

As humans, (when we listen) we have the ability to read people from a facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice or even a smell.  This comes from our early programming as humans to be able to meet a person and instantly decide if they are a friend or foe.  Those that have the ability to follow their intuition correctly would be able to sense danger or make a new friend.  We know when we have met someone for the first time that we have categorized them in the first 30 seconds.  We have decided if we like or dislike the person and this comes from our intuition.

I am not saying never to do any research. You should spend some time gathering and analyzing information.  The challenge is that you can gather information for the rest of your life.  At one point you will have to make a decision and it should be from your intuition.  At times you will have to make a quick decision and you should let your intuition guide you.  It is a combination of your feelings, your wisdom and your experience.  This will take a little faith and a little practice.  Learn to stretch yourself.  Don’t limit yourself to the facts or the opinions of other people.  You have to learn to follow your heart and tap into your priceless intuition.

Some of us are afraid to talk about intuition because it is so hard to explain.  Let me tell you that successful people use it every day.  They don’t always openly talk about it, but it is being used.  Intuition is more valuable than you realize.  It is used to enhance our creativity, charisma and increases our ability to connect with others.  Sure, super analytical people tend to shoot down intuition as woo-woo or something that is just a myth, but it is a skill you can learn and master.  Just because you don’t understand how it works, does not mean that it does not work.

Intuition expands our ability to tap into our previous experience, our knowledge and our stored memories.  We might not remember what memories or experience we are drawing on, but it was something we already have learned and it is expressed as a gut feeling.  The main obstacle that impedes us from following our intuition is convincing ourselves that it works and should be taken seriously.  What are you listening for?  How does your intuition talk to you?  It can be called impulse, urge or even that inner voice.  Start listening and you will save yourself a lot of time, energy and money.

Our instincts can evaluate our previous experiences, sense the emotions of the moment and rely on past knowledge.  We are always receiving constant information through our intuition.  We just need to listen.  As you practice using your intuition, new and inspiring ideas will intuitively and instinctively arise on their own.  You will be able to solve problems fast.  Learn to focus and concentrate, this type of focus will nurture and augment your newfound inner strength and instinct.  Sure your logical mind will fight you on these new thoughts and ideas, but eventually your new found intuition will win.

Direct download: Podcast_127.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:44am CDT

After speculating about good dining in San Francisco and briefly insulting their listeners there, Kurt and Steve discuss a recent article about whether great leaders are born or made.  They then launch into a discussion about the qualities of good leaders. 

People who know where they are going are able captivate, are passionate and are charismatic.  You can tell when you meet them and when they enter a room.  People are drawn to them because deep down people want to be passionate about something and when they see that passion in your eyes, you become more charismatic.  They sense that you can help them and improve their lives.  This does not guarantee everyone will like you, but they will respect you for your conviction and your passion. 

Passion is very contagious.  When you transfer this passion, the people around you start to radiate that passion.  They perform better, if it is at work, it is no longer work.  They become more proactive, more willing to work as a team and become more optimistic.  When you have tapped into this passion you become more determined and it increases your persistence.  It starts to become a burning desire and consumes you and it radiates to others.  A word of caution, just because you are passionate does not mean you can forego learning the skills you need to be successful.  It is a critical piece of the charisma pie, but you still need more pieces of the pie to radiate powerful long-term charisma.

More than anything else, passion recruits the hearts and minds of your audience.  Charismatics radiate heartfelt passion.  When the audience can sense your passion and sincere conviction for your cause, they will emotionally jump on board.  We all love people who are excited and filled with believable passion for their subject.  Passion is critical to influencing others and transmitting charisma.  When you have passion for something, you want to let everyone know about it.  You want to convert as many people to your cause as possible, and when someone disagrees with you, you are not swayed by their opinions or advice. 

Direct download: Podcast_126.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:20pm CDT

One of the aspects of the Law of Association is the use of affiliation. Persuaders want you to affiliate their company with positive images, feelings, and attitudes. Our surroundings and environment trigger feelings and we transfer those feelings to those we are with. For example, one frequently used technique is to take someone to lunch. Food can also generate subconscious triggers (if the food and company are good). The studies show that subjects like people better when they were eating.  Food gives us good feelings and a better attitude.

The idea is to link something positive in the environment with your message. For example, a good game of golf, a weekend at the beach, NFL tickets, or an exotic cruise would all typically build positive associations and feelings in your prospects. Do ever notice after a crushing victory, sweatshirts sporting the university's logo were seen all over the place? People want to be associated with winners. In fact, a study showed that when a university football team won, more students would wear that college's sweatshirts the next week. The bigger the victory, the more college sweatshirts become visible. When you bring positive stimuli into the situation, you will be associated with the pleasant feeling you have created.   

Advertisers and marketers use affiliation to evoke valuable associations in the minds of their prospects. They know that babies and puppy dogs automatically carry great associations of warmth and comfort in the minds of their audience. Consequently, we see tire commercials with babies and car commercials with puppies, even though cars and tires aren't really warm and cuddly. These warm appeals grab our attention and create positive associations in our mind.

One of the most common examples of advertising affiliation occurs with alcohol and cigarette advertisements. How often do you see a lung cancer patient in a cigarette ad? Instead, advertisers in these industries use young vibrant people who are in the prime of their lives. The beer companies want you to associate drinking beer with having fun and attracting the opposite sex. Their ads portray images of men and women having fun, while surrounded by beer. Their message is, "If you aren't drinking, you aren't having fun." On an intellectual level, we all know that these are just advertisements, but the associations they arouse in us stick in our minds and trigger future purchases.

Sponsorship is also used in advertising. Companies and organizations sponsor events that they believe will produce a positive association in the eyes of the public. They hope this positive association will transfer over to their company. The SuperBowl pulls huge sponsorships—companies pay big money to get their name and products associated with the SuperBowl.

Direct download: Podcast_125.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:57pm CDT

Neuroscientists have made significant progress on how the brain processes information.  Our brain can be very bias.  This is especially true in politics.  People will always see the good in their party and find the bad in the other.  During an election a scientist asked questions about their candidate and the candidate from the other side while getting an MRI.  When they were told information about their candidate that caused dissonance, the logical side of their brain would shut down and they could not see the bias.

When participants were asked to view a political debate, it was found that the mere presence of a confederate who cheered for one of the candidates influenced the participant's overall evaluation of that candidate in a positive manner.  Obviously, when receiving information in a social setting, the audience can be skewed to perceive the information the way the group tends to hear it.

Direct download: Podcast_124.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:18pm CDT

The Power of "Yes"

Use questions that will create "yeses." As you create your marketing and persuasive presentations, you must engineer the number of times you get your audience to raise their hands, say yes, or nod their heads. How many verbal yeses are you getting? One easy and effective way to get more affirmative responses is to engineer questions that will receive a positive answer. For example, when a word ends in "n't" it will usually bring a "yes" response. Obviously this technique won’t work if they don’t like or trust you. Consider the following phrases:  

Wouldn't it?

Isn't it?

Couldn't it?

Doesn't it?

Shouldn't it?

Won't you?

Can't you?                                                                                             

Wasn't it?

Great persuaders look for times when they can get affirmation from their audience. They engineer their persuasive message to get as many verbal, mental, or physical "yeses" as they can throughout their presentation. And there is good evidence to support this practice. One study brought in a large group of students to do "market research on high-tech headphones." The students were told that the researchers wanted to test how well the headphones worked while they were in motion (students were dancing up and down and moving their heads to the beat of music.) Following the songs, the researchers played a commercial about how the university's tuition should be raised. One group of students had been told to move their heads up and down throughout the music and the speaking. Another group was told to move their heads from side to side. A last group was told to make no movements at all.  

After "testing the headsets," the students were asked to fill out a questionnaire about not only the headsets, but also the university's tuition. Those nodding their heads up and down (yes motion) overall rated a jump in tuition as favorable. Those shaking their heads side to side (no motion) overall wanted the tuition to be lowered. Those who had not moved their heads didn't really seem to be persuaded one way or the other.  In a similar study at the University of Missouri, the researchers found that TV advertisements were more persuasive when the visual display had repetitive vertical movements - up and down yes movements, for example, a bouncing ball.

Direct download: Podcast_123.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:25pm CDT

Methods of Protecting Mental Alignment

When we feel dissonance, we have to find a way to deal with the psychological tension. When the rubber band stretches, we cannot not live with this internal pressure.  We will instantly try to find a way to relieve this tension and reduce our dissonance. We have an arsenal of coping mechanisms at our disposal to help us return to cognitive balance. When you see your prospect exhibit one of these behaviors (except modify) you have stretched the rubber band too far and they have snapped.  The internal pressure was too much and they went down an easier or different path.  They will find another solution besides you.  The following list outlines different ways people seek to reduce dissonance.    

Denial—To eliminate the dissonance, you deny there is a problem. You do this either by ignoring or demeaning the source of the information. You could attack (usually verbally) the source – making it their fault. This is somebody else’s fault! You are not to blame. 

Reframing—You change your understanding or interpretation of the meaning, or what really happened. This leads you to either adjust your own thinking or devalue the importance of the whole issue, considering it unimportant altogether.

Search—You are determined to find a flaw in the other side's position, to discredit the source, and to seek social validation or evidence for your own viewpoint. You might attempt to convince the source (if available) of his error. You might also try to convince others you did the right thing.

Separation—You separate the beliefs that are in conflict. This compartmentalizes your cognitions, making it easier for you to ignore or even forget the discrepancy. In your mind, what happens in one area of your life (or someone else's) should not affect the other areas of your life.  Everyone else should do it, but it does not apply to me.

Rationalization—You find excuses for why the inconsistency is acceptable. You change your expectations or try to rationalize what happened. You also find reasons to justify your behavior or your beliefs.  You could say this is not a big deal because everyone is doing it.

Modification—You change your existing beliefs to achieve mental alignment. Most of the time this involves admitting you were wrong or off course and will make changes or adjustments to get back into alignment.

How about real life example?  You told your friend about your new year’s resolution.  You are committed to lose weight.  This will be your year and you enlist your friend to help.  Your friend commits to help you and you are off and running.  Fast forward one month and your friend has caught you polishing off a large container of ice cream.  They call you on your commitment and your rubber band stretches. You feel dissonance. How to do you handle this tension?


Denial – You are fatter than I am, why ride me – remember the time you did…..

Reframing- What I really meant was I will start my diet after I finish this big project.

Search - I researched exercise on the internet and found exercise actually hurts your knees and your health.

Separation – I meant to diet during summer for the beach.  It is winter now so I have time before I will start.

Rationalization - I had a salad for lunch and a meal replacement drink for breakfast, so I am way below my caloric intake.

Modification - You are right I am going to start right now.  Thanks for saying something.

Direct download: Podcast_122.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:58pm CDT

The Theory of Cognitive Dissonance

Leon Festinger formulated the cognitive dissonance theory at Stanford University. He asserted, "When attitudes or beliefs conflict with our actions, we are uncomfortable and motivated to try to change." Festinger's theory sets the foundation for the Law of Dissonance.

The Law of Dissonance proves that people will naturally act in a manner that is consistent with their cognitions. What is a cognition?  Our cognitions is a mental process that uses thoughts, beliefs, experiences, and past perceptions.  Basically that means when people behave in a manner that is inconsistent with these cognitions, (beliefs, thoughts or values) they find themselves in a state of discomfort. In this uncomfortable state, they will be motivated to adjust their behaviors or beliefs to regain mental and emotional balance. When our beliefs, attitudes, and actions mesh, we feel congruent. When they don't, we feel dissonance at some level—that is, we feel awkward, uncomfortable, upset, or nervous. In order to eliminate or reduce that tension, we will do everything possible to adjust our beliefs or rationalize our behavior, even if it means doing something we don't want to do.   

Imagine that there is a big rubber band inside of you. When dissonance is present, the rubber band begins to stretch. As long as the dissonance exists, the band stretches tighter and tighter. You've got to take action before it reaches a breaking point and snaps. The motivation to reduce the tension is what causes us to change; we will do everything in our power to get back in mental balance. We like to feel a level of consistency in our day to day actions and interactions.  This harmony is the glue that holds everything together and helps us cope with the world and all the decisions we have to make. Dissonance causes us to distort our memories or remember what we want to see or how we wanted it to happen.  This blurs reality and allows us to cover our mistakes. 

The human brain needs to be right. It is hard for us to admit we are wrong.  We are programmed to justify what we are doing is right and avoid taking responsibilities when things go wrong. It is easier for us to find ways to prove ourselves right (even when we are wrong) then to admit why we are wrong.  Even when backed into a corner or shown evidence that proves we are wrong, we tend to not change our reasoning or point of view.  We will find reasons, proof, or social support why what we did was OK. We will start to believe our lies to ourselves, it couldn’t be our fault and we persuade ourselves why we were justified. This allows us to live with our thoughts, manage our day to day activities and allows us sleep at night.  Have you ever proved someone they were wrong?  Have you ever backed them into a corner? What happened?  You made the perfect case, but you never heard from them again. 

Direct download: Podcast_121.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:18pm CDT

We are firm believers that we all have greatness within us. We believe that we each have within ourselves unwritten books, un-started businesses, brilliant ideas, great inventions, charitable ideas, and untapped energies. But sometimes we have a hard time knowing exactly what our purpose is. We may fill many roles—husband or wife, father or mother, school board member, coach, employee, or community advocate. How do we know which roles will give us the greatest joy and satisfaction? First and foremost, most of us would agree that investing in loving and fulfilling relationships with family and friends is most important. It is a critical part of emotional health and well-being. Beyond this fundamental basis, however, what is it that you live for? What is your purpose and passion in life? Where do your interests and gifts and talents lie? What is your mission in life?

Dare to dream big. Have a purpose that will make getting up in the morning a pleasant task. Know that you are going to become what you want and get what you dream. Don't create a lifeless or unexciting purpose. Many people already know exactly what their purpose is. If you don't know, now is the time to find out. Great persuaders have tapped into and are using their purpose. Understand that for many, the self-discovery process is like sculpting. All you see at first is a big rock and you're not sure what masterpiece lies inside. You know something is there, but you don't yet know how you'll get it out.

Direct download: Podcast_120.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:24am CDT

The Hostile Prospect

This person disagrees with you and may even actively work against you. For a hostile prospect, use these techniques:

Find common beliefs and establish a common ground.

Use appropriate humor to break the ice.

Don't start the presentation with an attack on their position.

You are only trying to persuade on one point; don't talk about anything else that could trigger disagreement.

Because of your differences, they will question your credibility. Increase your credibility with studies from experts or anything that will support your claim.

They will try to find reasons to not like you; don't give them any.

Don't tell them you are going to try to persuade them.

Express that you are looking for a win-win outcome rather than a win-lose situation.

Show them you've done your homework.

Respect their feelings, values, and integrity.

Use logical reasoning as clearly and as carefully as possible.

Use the Law of Connectivity and the Law of Balance.

Direct download: Podcast_119.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:50pm CDT

Have you ever noticed how some people can captivate, inspire, and influence others without effort?  Other people instantly like them and want to be around them. Some individuals can enter a room and everyone notices. They seem always to get what they want because the people around them want to give it to them. How do they command such instant attention and influence everyone they meet?

This is the power of charisma. Charisma is a vital persuasion and life skill that can and must be mastered if you are going to influence others.

People often ask me what is the most important tool or skill in the entire influence toolbox? What is the one thing I can learn to achieve maximum success? The answer is simple. If there were one skill to master out of all the tools of persuasion and influence, it is charisma. It gives you the quickest return on your time and dramatically increases your success and income.

This vital success skill permeates every aspect of your life. Your career, your relationships, your ability to influence, and your income are all related to your ability to radiate charisma. Have you ever wondered why two people with the same education, the same contacts, the same IQ, and the same experience get dramatically different results from their lives? One enjoys massive success while the other one is barely making ends meet. Some call this simple luck, but when you have charisma you are guaranteed to have good luck. Imagine your success in life when you can automatically get others to willingly do what you want them to do, beg to do it, like to do it, and tell all their friends that they should also do it.

Charisma is the ability to empower and persuade others to believe in you, trust in you, and want to be influenced by you. You captivate and motivate them. You help them see themselves in the future carrying out your vision. They are moved and energized by your passion and enthusiasm. They are magnetized and driven by your charisma. They are lifted and inspired by your optimism and expectations. In essence, you’re a source of empowerment, encouragement, and inspiration.

Direct download: Podcast_118.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:51am CDT

Humor can be a powerful tool to create rapport. Humor makes the persuader seem more friendly and accepting. Humor helps gain attention, helps you create rapport, and makes your message more memorable. It can relieve tension, enhance relationships, and motivate people.  Appropriate use of humor increases trust in your audience.  

Humor can also distract your audience from negative arguments or grab their attention if they are not listening.  Humor diverts attention away from the negative context of a message, thereby interfering with the ability of listeners to carefully scrutinize it or engage in counterarguments. If listeners are laughing at the jokes, they may pay less attention to the content of a message. Humor can "soften up" or disarm listeners.  Humor connects you with your audience and increases their attention to your message.  

Humor must be used cautiously, however. If used inappropriately, it can be offensive and may cause your audience to turn against you. Humor should only be used as a pleasant, but moderate distraction. As a rule of thumb, if you are generally not good at telling jokes, don't attempt it. Be sure that you have good material. Non-funny humor is not only ineffective, but irritating. Modify your humor so that it is appropriate for your audience.  

Another aspect of humor is the smile.  A smile is free, generates a great first impression, and shows happiness, acceptance, and confidence. Your smile shows that you are pleased to be where you are, or happy to meet this person. As a result, they become more interested in meeting you. Smiling also conveys a feeling of acceptance, which makes your listener more trusting of you. It has been shown that sales representatives who smiled during the sales process increased their success rate by 20 percent. However, as with traditional humor, use a smile appropriately.

Direct download: Podcast_117.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:49pm CDT

Social Validation and Marketing

The more a brand is advertised, the more popular and familiar it is perceived to be. We as consumers somehow infer that something is popular simply because it is advertised. When people are buying gifts for others, social proof is one of the most effective techniques that a salesclerk can use."  

Many salespeople find great success in telling clients that a particular product is their "best-selling" or "most popular" on hand because social validation increases their credibility of the product. When customers feel that something is more popular, they spend more money to acquire it, even if there is no proof other than the salesperson's word. So it is with advertising: Asserting that a product is in super-high demand or that it is the most popular or fastest selling, etc., seems to provide proof enough. When consumers perceive a product is popular, that's often all they need to go out and purchase it.

The creation and use of social validation is rampant: Clubs make their spots look like "the place to be" by allowing huge waiting lines to congregate outside their facilities, even when the place is practically empty inside. Salespeople often recount the many other people who have purchased the item in question. That's why referrals are some of your best prospects! Referrals are your greatest source of social validation.  Sales and motivation consultant Cavett Robert said it best: "Since 95 percent of the people are imitators and only 5 percent initiators, people are persuaded more by the actions of others than by any proof we can offer."

Direct download: Podcast_116.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:10pm CDT

Your environment and the expectations of that environment should be persuasive. There is a concept called the Phillip Zimbado’s Broken Window Theory. This theory suggests that a building full of broken windows will cause people to assume that no one cares for the building or its appearance. This in turn will spur more vandalism and more broken windows. In other words, the environment's condition gives suggestions that lead people to hold certain assumptions, and people then act on those assumptions. The broken windows invite greater damage and crime.   Zimbardo did a study illustrating this point.  He left his car out on the street in Palo Alto California.  The first week the car blended in with all the other cars and nothing happened to it.  After the first week he broke one on the windows of the car and left it on the street.  Just by the one broken window he found that it dramatically increases the chances that it would be vandalized.

In his book, The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell uses an example of the Broken Window Theory as he explains the New York City subway clean-up. The subway system was in dire need of rebuilding—a multibillion-dollar endeavor. With the system about to collapse, the focus was understandably on issues like reducing crime and improving subway reliability. As a consultant hired by the New York Transit Authority, George Kelling urged officials to utilize the Broken Window Theory. They were hired to clean up the subways, they immediately assigned people to start cleaning up all the graffiti. Removing the graffiti seemed to be of such little consequence compared to everything else there was to worry about, but Gunn was insistent. In his own words:

The graffiti was symbolic of the collapse of the system. When you looked at the process of rebuilding the organization and morale, you had to win the battle against graffiti. Without winning that battle, all the management reforms and physical changes just weren't going to happen. We were about to put out new trains that were worth about ten million bucks apiece, and unless we did something to protect them, we knew just what would happen. They would last one day and then they would be vandalized.  The entire anti-graffiti campaign took years, but finally, the incidence of graffiti subsided.

In another study, volunteers were asked to participate in an experiment on prison environments. Half of the volunteers posed as prison workers, while the other half posed as prison inmates. The results were astounding. Previously tested to be psychologically sound people, the participants rapidly became more and more hostile, crude, rebellious, and abusive—both those acting as inmates and as guards! One "prisoner" became so hysterical and emotionally distressed that he had to be released. The study was supposed to last two weeks, but was called off after only six days! 

Direct download: Podcast_115.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:12am CDT

Touch is another powerful part of body language—important enough to devote a whole section to it alone. Touch can be a very effective psychological technique. Subconsciously, most of us like to be touched; it makes us feel appreciated and builds rapport. It is true, though, that we do need to be aware and careful of a small percentage of the population who dislikes being touched in any way. In most instances, however, touch can help put people at ease and make them more receptive to you and your ideas. Touch increases influence.  When you are able to touch your prospect they usually becomes more agreeable, enhances mood and increases the chances they will agree and do what you are asking.

Touch can create a positive perception. Touch carries with it favorable interpretations of immediacy, similarity, relaxation, and informality. In one research study, librarians did one of two things to university students: either they did not touch the person at all during the exchange or they made light, physical contact by placing a hand over the student's palm. Invariably, those students who were touched during the transaction rated the library service more favorably than those who were not touched at all.  Waiters/waitresses who touched customers on the arm when asking if everything was okay received larger tips and were evaluated more favorably than those waiters who didn't touch their customers. Touch also induces customers to spend more time shopping in stores. In one study, physical contact on the part of salespeople induced customers to buy more and to evaluate the store more favorably.

We know that certain areas of the body can be freely touched while other areas are off limits. Safe areas of contact include the shoulders, forearms and hands, and sometimes the upper back. This all depends on the situation, the culture and relationship between the two parties prior to the touch.

Direct download: Podcast_114.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:29pm CDT

To maintain order of the world, our brains link objects, gestures, and symbols with our feelings, memories, and life experiences. We mentally associate ourselves with such things as sights, sounds, colors, music, and symbols. These associations create quick subconscious triggers.  The feelings you generate can help or hurt your ability to persuade.  

Power Persuaders take advantage of association triggers to evoke positive feelings and thoughts that correspond with the message they are trying to convey. In this sense, you, as a persuader, can actually arouse a certain feeling in your audience by finding the right association key to unlock their door. Associations are not the same for all people—obviously, each person and culture has their own set of triggers. However, once you understand the general rules, you can find the right associations to match any situation. Why do you think restaurants decorate a certain way, have their lighting just right, and play certain types of music? All these things are defined in the Law of Association. 

Direct download: Podcast_113.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:29am CDT

The Law of Scarcity plays a large role in the persuasion process.  Opportunities are always more valuable and exciting when they are scarce and less available.  We want to be the ones to own the rare items or to get the last widget on the shelf.  The more the scarcity of an item increases, the more the item increases in value, and the greater the urge to own it.

Whenever choice is limited or threatened, the human need to maintain a share of the limited commodity makes us crave it even more.  Scarcity increases the value of any product or service.  Scarcity drives people to action, making us act quickly for fear of missing out on an opportunity.  Potentially losing something before we’ve even had an opportunity to possess it drives people to action.  We don’t want to miss out on anything we could have had.  We want to get around any restriction placed upon us.  We feel uptight and want back our freedom.  This causes tension and unrest.  The Law of Scarcity  not only pertains to physical products, but also to time, information, price, and knowledge.

Direct download: Podcast_112.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:51am CDT

For this episodes article, Kurt and Steve discuss the top techniques of hostage negotiators.  Admit it, you're thinking of the movie "The Negotiator" all of the sudden.  Now that we got that out of the way, we can actually talk about negotiation.  While hostage negotiation can seem intimidating and have very high stakes, there are some critical lessons that we can learn that can apply to even the most seemingly mundane of everyday business interactions.

Based on listener questions that have been coming in, it's time for a rapport tune up!  As Kurt likes to say, a lot of times closing skills are like trying to get a kiss after a bad date.  All the slick one liners in the world won't matter if you haven't developed decent rapport.  On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss rapports basic components that are sure to make you a rapport building machine!

Direct download: Podcast_111.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:27pm CDT

The better you become at handling objections, the more persuasive you will be. The key to great persuasion is anticipating all objections, problems, or concerns before you hear them. Great persuaders are always able to accomplish three critical objectives during the objection process:

1. They can distinguish between a real objection and a knee-jerk reaction. Our studies show that most objections should not be taken at face value, because there are other issues involved.

2. They listen intently to the entire objection before attempting to solve it. They stay calm. Tests have proven that calmly stated facts are more effective in getting people to change their minds than becoming emotional.

3. Great persuaders are never arrogant or condescending. They give their audience room to save face. People will often change their minds and agree with you later, if they have the room to do so.

Another great way to handle objections is to address each of the seven main areas during your presentation, before they become big issues in the mind of your audience. That way, you've stopped any potential resistance before it happens. As a result, there aren't any main objections left for them to bring up. Studies demonstrate that persuaders were four times more successful when they handled objections during the persuasion process, instead of waiting until the end.6 Also, nothing de-energizes persuasive efforts more than lingering doubts and concerns that remain unresolved in your audience's mind.

Direct download: Podcast_110.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:31am CDT

We tend to rate our skills that we want, that we need or that we require higher than they actually are.  To improve, grow and become more successful we have to know our weaknesses and be able to identify our blind spots.  If we don’t know what they are than we can never truly improve. 

 The reason self-perception bias has such a negative impact in our lives is because we are lying to ourselves. That's the bottom line.  We are blind from the truth.  We are deceiving ourselves.  Denial is our happy place where we can cover up our weaknesses to protect our self-esteem.  We set our expectations that are not based on reality or honest evaluation. It might seem nice to view the world through rose-colored glasses for a while, but in the end, you're setting yourself up for failure. 

 Self-perception bias manifests itself when we are evaluating a skill or talent that we expect ourselves to have or when others expect us to have that particular skill. When social pressure or social validation is involved, we make higher-than-expected evaluations of ourselves.   Self-perception bias ultimately gives us an unrealistic view of reality and a false sense of security. We become numb to reality and fail to see exactly where we stand and what we need to improve. 

 We are good at judging others and finding out what is wrong with them, but that analysis does not seem to work on ourselves.  The same is true for our skills.  We have to have the ability to honestly access ourselves – both our strengths and weaknesses.  Then find the skills and the discipline to improve our faults.  We always will feel we must gloss over our weaknesses to make things seem better than they actually are. We also lie to ourselves about our incomes, our debt, and our true weight.  When you ask husbands and wives individually about what percent of the housework they each do – the numbers never add up.  Most people will rate their people skills as above average.  We all know that is not true.  If you want to see human blindness and bias in action, all you have to do is go to a sporting event as a neutral party and listen to the bias and comments of each opposing side.

Direct download: Podcast_109.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:21pm CDT

Are you good at flirting?  Admit it, when we asked you rolled your eyes but were A LITTLE bit interested, deep down.  As it turns out, flirting is related to your ability to influence.  A recent article by Psych Central discusses what makes somebody good at flirting.  Check out the article here.  At a minimum you'll be entertained.

Thoughts → Emotions → Actions

 It all starts with your thoughts. Your thoughts lead to emotions and your emotions lead to your daily actions.

Take an honest look at your life right now. Where do you find yourself? That place is the sum total of your thoughts over the course of a lifetime. Where have your thoughts taken you thus far? Where will they take you tomorrow, next week, or next year? It is only natural that negative thoughts will creep into your mind from time to time. As soon as they sneak in, escort them right back out. Don't entertain them. They are destructive. Some people use a rubber band to snap their wrist every time a negative thought comes into their mind. The pain associated with this technique fixes their negative thinking very rapidly. If you don’t want to try the rubber band, you can send me a $2,000 check every time you have a negative thought. I am sure that would start to work for you real fast, because that is what it is probably costing you! Your thoughts are what programs your subconscious mind.

Your thoughts are what program your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind is the center of all your emotions. When your subconscious accepts an idea, it begins to execute it. And then your subconscious uses your ideas, knowledge, energy, and wisdom to find the solution. Now, it might occur in an instant, or it might take days, weeks, or even longer. Nevertheless, your mind will continue working on a solution. You need to understand that as you program your mind, you must ask yourself, "Do I program negative suggestions in my mind?" If you are telling yourself that you can't do it, you are right. When that inner voice tells you that you can't do something, it is important that you replace the thought or turn down the volume or intensity of the negative voice. Then you can change it to "I can do it," "I'm going to win," and "there's plenty for everybody." Altering your inner voice's perception is going to make a difference, and that's the important thing. That's because your subconscious mind will always accept what you program it to think. The bottom line is that you are what you think about, and you have the power to choose what you think. No one can do it for you. Great persuaders work on this mental training every day, while average persuaders think they have heard it all before and are doing OK.


If we are going to squash our negative thinking, we must replace those thoughts with new, positive ones. As you practice mental programming, new and inspiring ideas will intuitively and instinctively arise on their own. But give yourself specific goals and targets to keep your thoughts centered on—this type of focus will nurture and augment your newfound inner strength. Sure your logical mind will fight you on these new thoughts, but eventually your new programming will win.

Direct download: Podcast_108.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:40am CDT

Being in sales or being a business owner can be emotionally exhausting.  It's important to develop the ability to pick yourself up out of a bad mood.  To start this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss a recent article that gives you "8 ways to feel better in a hurry."  

If there's one topic that people just don't want to hear about anymore, it's listening. Ironic, isn't it?  As we've researched successful persuaders, we've found listening to be one of their top attributes.  Listening is a habit we can lose.  If we aren't careful, months down the road we find ourselves jabbering too much with our prospects instead of listening to them.  

Direct download: Podcast_107.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:22am CDT

Can your personality type change?  A recent article from Psychology Today seems to think so.  It's not uncommon for many to become more friendly (or less friendly) the older they get.  Check out the article here for more info.

Did you know there are over 60 different personality types?  This has led many to try and simplify the science of personality types down into sixteen, or even as few as four different categories.  On this episode, Kurt and Steve give a compelling argument as to why peresonality types could be scraped all together, due to the concept of "meta programs."  This allows a persuader to quickly isolate the key patterns in their prospects mind craft their message accordingly.

On this week's persuasion blunder, we see a text book example of a teenager unable to assess long term consequences. 

Direct download: Podcast_106.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:46pm CDT

Is Google rigging elections?  On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss a recent article that thinks so.  Merely telling the masses that a candidate has a "high" approval rating tends to gender more support.  So how much influence do the "Googles" of the world actually have?  Check out the article here.

Most persuaders would rather deal with an angry prospect than an indifferent one.  Indifferent prospects are tough to do anything with!  Enter the Law of Involvement.  Using the Law of Involvement helps us to get prospects to mentally focus and engage in what we are saying.  It's what gives you traction in the persuasion process. 

Direct download: Podcast_105.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:13am CDT

Everything that we understand and know about our world is based around words.  Words don't just have meaning, they have feeling.  That's why some words in some languages just don't directly translate.  One particular author has used this to apparently create a childrens book that makes children fall asleep. 

When it comes to influencing, there are words you should never use.  Kurt and Steve discuss many of these on this weeks episode, as well as many of the most influential words in the English language.  Influential words can change, however.  Words that were effective 5-10 years ago are no longer.  Tune into this episode to find out more!

Direct download: Podcast_104.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:12pm CDT

As we get closer and closer (even though it's a long way away) to the 2016 presidential election, more and more persuasion blunders will be on display.  A recent article shows that politicians who have deeper voices (yes, even women) are perceived as more credible by voters.  Check out the article here.

Due to listener feedback, Kurt and Steve realized that they didn't cover the Law of Expectations deeply enough on Episode 101.  On this Episode (103) they return with more ideas on how you can prime your clients expectations to make your selling go more smoothly. 


Direct download: Podcast_103.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:03pm CDT

You can't visit a business web page without hearing "follow us on Twitter!"  We're certainly guilty of this too.  Follow us on Twitter @influencemax! 

A recent article from Psych Central shows that when customers complain about a business on Twitter, businesses can actually shoot themselves in the foot by responding too much!  Check out the article here.

If you've ever been told your product is too expensive, you need the Law of Contrast.  This is the most effective way to set the terms of value.  Many times prospects come to the table with a preconceived value of your product (justified or not).  You can turn the tables with the Law of Contrast!

Speaking of the Law of Contrast, this episode featues a horrible use of it which HAS to be the persuasion blunder of the year!

Direct download: Podcast_102.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:35pm CDT

When you're an entrepreneur or sales person, being mentally tough is key.  If you want the rewards that come from owning your own business or being on commission, you need to put up with days that can be full of rejection and disappointment.  Check out a recent article posted  by Psych Central that discusses the Six Stages of Mental Strength.

In any persuasive encounter, your prospect has certain expectations.  And so do you!  When things don't go according to expectation, people feel frustrated and are more likely to act out in anger.  This is a basic pyschological response that we can leverage in our favor as persuaders.  Tactfully letting our prospects know what we expect of them is a great way to get them to behave the way we want them to.  This also spins off into NLP (neuro linguistic programming).  Kurt and Steve discuss some of the merits of NLP and how to use them.

Direct download: Podcast_101.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:57am CDT

It's been 100 episodes!  After inserting some canned applause and patting themselves on the back, Kurt and Steve discuss why disobedient kids may actually make more money as adults.  They then proceed to insult people who don't listen to their show.  But if they're not listening does it really even matter?

Different personalities relate to different persuasion techniques.  One method may resonate clearly with you but be completely useless on your prospect.  That's why it's important to use the T.E.S.S. system.  It stands for Testimonial, Example, Story, and Statistic.  On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss how to successfuly implement T.E.S.S. into your message.

Direct download: Podcast_100.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:53am CDT

Whether you think you love it or not, you love to procrastinate.  The brain thrives on it.  The reason is that we tend to treat our "current self" much better than our "future self."  We give our future self way to much credit.  We think "future me will save more money" or "future me will lose more weight."  But when the future gets here what happens?  Kurt and Steve discuss it during this week's article. 

We don't like getting objections.  Nobody does.  But when they come, take it as a good sign!  Your prospect is actually listening!  There's nothing worse than an impartial prospect.  Some objections need to be dealt with as they come.  Other's need to be dealt with in advance.  On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss the difference.

Finally, Kurt discusses a "blinja" (when a blunder meets a ninja) sales robot!  Yep.  A sales robot.  Tune in for details. 

Direct download: Podcast_99.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:46pm CDT

Do you sort your mail over the trash can?  Do you delete most emails before you even consider them?  That's the reality of advertising today.  Messages to your prospects need to be compelling and grab their attention.  To start this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss a recent article about which is more effective: digital or print media?

Ever now and then on Maximize Your Influence, we like to return to what is most imporant: mindset.  All the tactics in the world dont' change anything for a persuader who is negative, pessimistic, and just not right in their persuasion head.  On this episode, Kurt and Steve dive into what it takes for persuaders to have enough self discipline to make it.  Working on commission or in an industry where your living depends on getting other people to cooperate with you can be mentally taxing.  Follow the tips discussed here and you'll supercharge your discipline!

Direct download: Podcast_98.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:10pm CDT

After Steve gives the full report on his recent trip to Puerto Rico (including a priceless blunder by the Ritz Carlton resort), Kurt discusses this week's "geeky article moment."  A recent article on Psych Central reveals the advantages of both active and passive communication styles.

The rest of the show centers around a recent interview Steve conducted with Brad Harker.  Brad is the author of The Laws of Influence - Mastering the Art of Sales, Leadership, and Change.  He operates a sales company, and actively consults with professionals and organizations in the disciplines of sales, leadership, and influence.

Direct download: Podcast_97.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:20pm CDT

To kick off this episode, the guys discuss what is likely the most offensive article they've ever featured on the show.  Kurt insists that it's Steve's doing.  We'll let you read it for yourselves, but just know that "hand's on" father's might be uhm...smaller. 

For the main show topic, Kurt and Steve discuss some of the non-verbal habits that can kill your charisma.  Use these habits and your sales career will never get off the ground.  Conversely, they discuss some of the habits that the charismatic instinctively do.  Implement these habits into your behavior and you will be perceived as more charismatic.  We all want to do business with charismatic people!


Direct download: Podcast_96.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:46am CDT

A recent study shows that if you want to look trustworthy, you should also look happy.  What's the catch?  Looking happy doesn't necessarily make you look competent.  Kurt and Steve discuss this study and how persuaders can walk the line to acheive maximum trust and competence at the same time.

On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss recent obervations they've made about Negotiaton's Dirty Deeds (yes, they are done dirt cheap).  When your prospects resort to infantile tactics that have worked for them since childhood, you have to tactfully let your prospect know "that doesn't work here" without jeopordizing the potential business arranagement. 

Finally, Steve throws a sleazy real estate developer under the bus for this episodes persuasion blunder. 

Direct download: Podcast_95.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:21pm CDT

In persuasion, there are a few words and phrases that a lot of people say, but that they don't really mean.  In a recent article on, 11 of these terrible sayings are reviewed.  It's an entertaining article and Kurt and Steve discuss it in detail.

Have you ever received an annoying voicemail from a salesperson?  Or better yet...have you ever LEFT an annoying voicemail?  We all have.  Many think leaving voicemials is pointless.  Otheres will leave them for days and not get any results.  On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss how to leave an effective voicemail that will get your prospects to call you back. 

Direct download: Podcast_94.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:49pm CDT

When it comes to persuading others (through owning a business, church, non-profit), it's all about networking.  Anyone who has ever been successful can attribute at least a part of that success to meeting the right people at the right time.  But what if you hate talking to strangers?  Can you be an effective networker?  A recent article published in the Harvard Business Review discusses this very issue. 

On this episode, Kurt and Steve answer an email from a listener who wants to learn how to ask more effective questions.  Effective questions should move the conversation further and bring the prospects pain and or motivation into clearer focus.  They should make the prospect feel in control while the persuader is actually the one calling the shots.  There are a number of ways to accomplish this and Kurt and Steve discuss them in detail on this episode!

Direct download: Podcast_93.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:15pm CDT

If you're like most people, you don't really enjoy paying taxes.  A study in the UK recently discovered how to vastly increase the rate of collected taxes, just by adding one simple sentence to collection notices.  Kurt and Steve discuss this on the show.  You can find an article from CNN Money here.

Many say there is such thing as "beginners luck" in sales.  But is it luck?  Or is that beginners haven't learned some of the habits that plague veterans?  On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss three of the key mistakes that verteran sales people make.  Getting back to basics and avoiding these mistakes will help you see an almost immediate increase in your sales results!


Direct download: Podcast_92.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:11pm CDT

Nobody has a perfect self esteem.  We all have insecurities in ceratin areas of our life. The same is true for your prospects.  Raise a prospects self esteem and you'll catapult your chances of persuading them!  On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss a recent article that gives Five Tips For Raising Your Self Esteem.

Is your prodcut or cause desperation or inspiration based?  Your prospects are all either running towards or away from something.  It's essentially the difference between inspiration and deseperation.  Using the wrong kind of motivation on your prospects will backfire everytime.  Tune into this episode for great tips on how to leverage the power of dual motivation!

Direct download: Podcast_91.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:52pm CDT

Did you know that the noise of an aircraft engine can cause you to crave different foods?  A recent study by Cornell University makes some compelling links between decibel level and food cravings.  Kurt and Steve discuss the artice and also learn a new word! 

There's one thing that annoys your prospect more than anything else: unsolicited small talk.  Many of the stereotypical sales annoyances (fast talkers, lack of knowlege) are still high on the list, but in this day and age your prospect wants to see value.  They want to feel like they have a reason to talk to you.  Only then does should you make a serious effort at buildng a connection with them.  Otherwise the unsolicited small talk will kill your presentation before it begins!

Direct download: Podcast_90.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:45pm CDT

Is optimism overrated?  A recent study from the University of Utah thinks so.  Kurt and Steve discuss the study and what it means for persuaders.

Some of us are better negotiators than others.  Some of us respond differently to different tactics.  Negotiation is all about researching your product and what your prospect needs and wants.  Failure to do so inevitably leads to insulting your prospect and that's a tough one to come back from.  On this episdoe Kurt and Steve discuss how to make an offer to your prospect that sets the negotiation playing field, without insulting them. 

Direct download: Podcast_89.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:40pm CDT

Do you know somebody who is always blaming other people for their problems?  Is it you?  The fact is, we all do it.  And sometimes we're right.  A recent article, however, shows why blaming others is not productive...even when it's completely true. 

We all know the stereotypical profile of a persuader: fast talker, slick, stretches the truth, etc.  And we all know that this style of persuasion is not nearly as effective as it used to be.  In this day and age, introverts are the best persuaders.  Kurt and Steve discuss why this is and we can apply techniques that come naturally to most introverts.

Direct download: Podcast_88.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:16am CDT

It's always helpful to learn more about what successful people do in their daily lives.  In this episode, Kurt and Steve highlight three key lessons we can learn form succeessful people. 

For this week's Persuasion IQ question, Kurt and Steve talk about how to effectively build emotion at the right time during your presentation.  Measuring the rate of your speech during the credibilty phase and then changing to the right rate during your call to action can make or break you!

Direct download: Podcast_87.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:26pm CDT

After discussing Kurt's recent trip to Las Vegas, Kurt and Steve discuss an article that may be helpful if you've been to Vegas recently: "Are White Lies Good For Relationships?"  You'll be surprised at the conculsion!

How can we tell if our prospect is "visually oriented?"  Whe asking them a question that requires some thought, they often look upwards.  In contrast if they are "auditory", they tend to look side to side.  Finally, if they are "kinesthetic", they look downward.  How does this impact you in the persuasion process?  Tune into the episode to find out more!

Direct download: Podcast_86.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:44pm CDT

Have you ever witnessed an animal "sniff" another animal and thought "wow I'm so glad I'm human?"  A recent study shows that you might rely on smelling other humans.  Check out the study here.

On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss what attribute customers appreciate most about top persuaders.  They give some pointers on how to improve this characterisitc as well as minimize more harmful ones.  Check out the episode for more details!

Direct download: Podcast_85.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:20pm CDT

Do you rely on email marketing to generate leads?  What about telephone prospecting?  As it turns out, there are specific times of day and the week that are more effective...and it's not quite what you think.  Check out this episode for the exact statistics.

Colors shape our perception of products and services, period.  They can also be used to set the tone on how we feel when we go into a persuasive encounter.  Some colors instill a feeling of professionalism.  Some colors make us hungry.  Others grab our attention.  On this episode, Kurt and Steve break down colors and how we can use them to enhance our message as persuaders. 

Direct download: Podcast_84.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:11pm CDT

They've talked about it a lot on Maximize Your Influence, but on this episode Kurt and Steve discuss a recent article entitled "10 Body Signs Somebody Is Lying To You."  They discuss the merits of the article as well as some additional suggestions that will help you detect deception.

Have you ever had a prospect stall on you?  Your product is a perfect fit, it fits their budget, but they just aren't making a decision? On this episode Kurt and Steve discuss some of the techniques that will get your prospect off of the fence.  Tune in for details!

Direct download: Podcast_83.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:19am CDT

A recent study published by Psych Central discusses how to make new habits stick.  The article goes over a variety of techniques that will dramatically increase your chances of implementing new habits.  Check it out here.

On episode 82, Kurt and Steve discuss another important Persuaison IQ Test question.  What is the main reason people do things they don't want to do?  Kurt and Steve discuss the answer and give some tips on how to use the pyschological phenomena of "Cognitive Dissonance" to your advantage. 

Direct download: Podcast_82.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:40pm CDT

Have you ever given a presentation and had a tough time connecting with the audience?  Some audiences are just difficult.  Other audiences can be connected with if you know some basic pointers.  For this week's article, Kurt and Steve discuss an article released by Harvard Business Review that gives some great tips on connecting with any audience.  Connect to the article here.

Does the mood of your prospect matter?  We're uncovering more and more research on the topic. No matter how appealing your product, if your prospect isn't in the right mood it doesn't matter.  Kurt and Steve give some tips for what to do when you run across a prospect in a foul mood. 

Direct download: Podcast_81.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:34pm CDT

Have you ever encountered a prospect who had a skewed view of what they should pay for your product?  Would you like to have more control about what your prospects think your product is worth?  Tune into this episode for more information!

On this episode, Kurt and Steve also discuss how to properly frame somebody's expectaitons without insulting them.  Doing this is the key between getting kicked out and totally resetting your prospect's perceived value!

Direct download: Podcast_801.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:56pm CDT

On this episode, Kurt and Steve continue in giving you the "cheat sheet" for the Persuasion IQ test.  You can find the persuasion IQ test by visiting and clicking "Persuaison IQ" on the bottom of the page.

What do all top persuaders have in common?  They're optimistic.  Chances are you've never met a top producer who also has a negative attitude.  On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss what it takes to maintain an optimistic attitude, even in the face of intense rejection. 

Direct download: Podcast_79.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:48pm CDT

We've all heard of the sterotypical "fast talker."  They come across as too slick and like they're up to something, right?

On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss what the most persuasive rate of speaking is.  They also discuss what kind of tone, pauses, and energy to use when you're speaking at the most persuasive rate.  Tune into the episode to learn more! 

Direct download: Podcast_78.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:21pm CDT

With Valentines now over with, you likely know where you stand with your significant other.  However, Kurt and Steve still find it fit to bring up a recent study that shows how you can tell if somebody loves you...or lusts after you.  Check out the article here!

It's been a few years since Kurt developed the "Persuasion IQ Test"... a way for you to get a straightforward assessment on how persuasive you really are.  On this episode, Kurt and Steve break down one of the questions on the test: the most effective way to create scarcity.  Check out the episode to learn the answer!

Finally, Steve wraps the episode up with a blunder by a company who has been featured as the persuasion ninja on multiple occasions: Apple. 

Direct download: Podcast_77.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:33pm CDT

Do you know people who are ALWAYS late, no matter what?  Do you find yourself telling these people earlier times in an effort to get them to unintentionally show up?  A recent article in the Wall Street Journal studied type A (aggressive) and type B (non aggressive) and found something shocking: some people perceive time to go by slower than it actually is.  This explains a lot about people who just can't show up on time!  Check out the article here. 

Last episode, Kurt and Steve focused on detecting deception through verbal cues.  On this episode, they explore some of the non-verbal cues that reveal deception.  Tune in to hear all the great info!  

Direct download: Podcast_76.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:59pm CDT

Have you checked out yet?  Did you know that you can enroll in our 52 week persuasion course for as little as $7 a month? 

Shameless plug over.  On this week's episode, Kurt and Steve discuss a recent article that shows us how to exercise more effectively.  Yep.  Pushing through a difficult task (like exercise) is key to success in anything.  Kurt and Steve break down the article and discuss how we can use it in exercise and in business. 

Due to listener demand, deception is back.  We all deal with it.  Prospects, family, kids, co-workers...they all have been known to deceive.  Hopefully most of the time it's harmless.  But we've all suffered due to taking somebody's word for it only to have them never come through. 

There are two ways to detect deception.  Verbal cues and non-verbal cues.  On this episode Kurt and Steve focus on verbal cues.  The best "liars" are the ones who tell half truths with their deception.  Tune into the episode for some great pointers on how you can detect verbal deception!

Finally...the blunder of the week.  Or is it a ninja?  Steve isn't really sure.  Due to a business trip he couldn't get out of, he didn't get to watch most of the Super Bowl.  From what he heard, the commercials during the Super Bowl this year were just downright depressing.  Kurt discusses whether this is an effective advertising techinique or not. 

Direct download: Podcast_75.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:22am CDT

Welcome to episode 74 of Maximize Your Influence!  On this episode, Kurt and Steve roll out an interesting article published in the Economist.  More and more, governments and intelligence agencies are analyzing body language to determine if somebody is a terrorist threat.  Kurt and Steve discuss the article and what it means for the study of body language.  You can check it out here.

Well it's late January now.  How are your goals coming?  If you're like most people, they're quickly fading into the distance.  While it's only been a couple of weeks since they discussed it last, Kurt and Steve re-hash the main components of successful goal setting.  If for no other reason than to at least REMIND you that you set some goals a few weeks ago. Accomplishing goals requires YOU to consistently follow up on them, measure your progress, and to be realistic.  Other wise you end up like everybody else:  your in mid February and things are right back to where they were!

On this episode Kurt and Steve also discuss vision versus worry.  When you're setting goals, trying to sell a product, or trying to promote a you do it out of vision or worry?  When it comes to you and your goals, this needs to be done out of vision.  Even though it brings on compelling short term emotions, acting out of worry never lasts.  Only a positive vision of the future will keep you going when times get tough!  Check out the episode for some tips on how to use this on your prospects and your marketing!

Direct download: Podcast_74.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:22pm CDT

Have you ever met the kind of person who is always stressed, has a negative attitude, and who nobody wants to be around?  Oftentimes we later hear these people have major health problems down the road.  In this weeks article, Kurt and Steve discuss a recent study that shows why Optimism is heart healthy.  Not only is it good for your's good for your health! 

Oftentimes, persuaders run into the issue of their prospects having a miscontrued "value" of the persuaders product.  This usually isn't the persuaders fault.  It's just the reality of the market and the media that shaped the value.  So how can we "reset" the prospects perception of value?  How can we have home field advantage?  On this epsidoe, Kurt and Steve discuss how we can use the "door in the face" technique to gain the upper hand. 

Remember, go to for more resources on how you can become a power persuader!

And finally...this week's blunder features a waitress at Morton's Steakhouse who thought it would be a good idea to talk to Steve about the movie "Food Inc" while he ate a porterhouse. 

Direct download: Podcast_73.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:14pm CDT

On this week's episode, Kurt and Steve lead off with the "Geeky Article Moment" as well as some banter about food, NFL playoffs, and seagulls eating hotdogs.  Yep.  It happened.

A restaurant in Pittsburgh has recently decided that it will ban "tips" for its servers.  Instead, servers will receive a salary and annual bonuses.  Kurt and Steve discuss how this will impact staff performance and if it's a good idea or not from a leadership perspective. 

After this, Kurt and Steve discuss presentation pitfalls.  Like it or not, we are all presenters.  Whether its one on one, on a web conference, or in front of thousands of people, we are all on stage.  Kurt and Steve discuss what the common pitfalls are that plague most persuaders. 

Are you a power persuader?  Would you like individual feedback on your video/audio presentation...for FREE?  Record an audio or video of your presentation and upload it here.  Kurt and Steve will go through each presentation and provide you individually with feedback!  Just put your email address in the subject line of when you upload your video.  First prize will get a free year to! 

Direct download: Podcast_72.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:22pm CDT

Happy New Year!

We're back with the first episode of 2015! 

If you we're asked "do you have a rewards card with us" last time you were shopping, you're not alone.  Business are loading up on rewards programs like never before, in hopes of enticing you to return and buy more stuff from them. As it turns out however, a good old fashioned "thank you" is more effective.  Kurt and Steve discuss this recent study on this episode.

Well it's 2015.  It's time to set goals.  You're either excited about that or you're rolling your eyes saying "not again!"  Whatever you think about it, however, it's important.  Setting goals (in writing) is one of the main attributes that differentiates successful persuaders from failures.  Check out this episode for some concrete tips on how you can set goals more successfully in 2015!

Direct download: Podcast_71.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:31pm CDT

If you have kids or employees (they're kind of the same, aren't they) you have probably used threats as a way to gain compliance before.  When we are in a rational state, we can all agree that most of the time threats are only good for very short term compliance.  But when we become emotional, it's easy for our brain to think that a threat is the best solution to the problem.  In a recent study by McGill University, researchers discovered that threatening children doesn't stop them from lying.  Here's some hope for humanity: researchers also concluded that kids are more likely to tell the truth when they feel like it's the right thing to do! 

In Episode 79 of Maximize Your Influence, Kurt and Steve expand more on persuasive writing styles.  There are certain words that you should never use when persuading others.  Those words, however, may be beneficial when you are discussing the competiton!  Check out the episode for all the information.  Kurt and Steve will return in 2015 with more Maximize Your Influence!

Direct download: Podcast_70.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:00pm CDT

Are you tired of faking that you like your boss when you really don't?  Michigan State University has good news.  Apparently, you don't need to fake it anymore!  Their study shows that your productivity and your bosses satsifaction with your work performance goes UP when you both can admit that you're just co-workers and not necessarily best buddies.

After discussing the weekly article.  Kurt and Steve launch into the important topic of persuasive writing.  In order to persuade, you need people to talk to.  You need leads.  It's persuasive writing that does this. 

Oftentimes, writing persuasively involves the use of pictures.  Yeah, this sounds like a bit of a contradiction.  But when we ssee words, how we feel about them is usually influnced by the pictures that accompany them.  Use pictures that involve attractive people, things, and places.  You can use bright colors as well as images that make others curious, happy, or even angry.  This makes them pay attention to what you write.

Check out the rest of the episode for more information on how to structure your persuasive copy for optimal results.

And finally, is half off for the rest of the year!  Wheverver you are in your persuasion journey, there's something on for you! 

Direct download: Podcast_69.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:23am CDT

Every year it happens.  Black Friday.  That one day where retailers apparently lose their mind and start giving away massive discounts in order to lure bargain hungry shoppers.  The urgency created on Black Friday is unparalleled!

On this episode Kurt and Steve discuss what retailers do right on Black Friday as opposed to what they do wrong.  Using some of their tactics could turn your prospects away...or it could create massive legitimate urgency that will spike your sales, big time.  Tune into this episode for more info!

Direct download: Podcast_68.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:00pm CDT

Do you work in an environment where you need to be motivated...but your boss just doesn't motivate you?  This is increasingly the norm, unfortunately.  A recent article by Harvard Business Review gives some helpful pointers if you find yourself in this type of environment.  Check out the article here.

Are you your competitor's best sales person?  Let's rephrase.  Have you ever worked really hard building your products value with a prospect, only to have them go with a cheaper option or a competitor?  That's what we call "scratching the itch."  When you motivate your prospect to change, they often try to scratch the easiest itch they can find.  In other words, once you've identified the problem and created the pain, the prospect seeks to solve that pain in the easiest/cheapest way possible. 

Kurt and Steve discuss some of the main methods for getting around the itch.  The first is obvious.  What are the cheaper options that your prospect will be tempted to go with?  Instead of covertly trying to sabotage these options, what is working best right now is to just drag the options all out into the light.  It's okay to tell your prospect: "look, a lot of individuals I talk to end up trying to find a cheaper version.  I'll tell you right now, it exists.  If price is all you're concerned about, you should go that direction.  Do you have other considerations besides price?"  This gets a critical yes from your prospect and they proceed to tell you all the things besides price that matter to them.  Now you can build value and take the sales cycle away from price.  Battling your prospect on price is seldom a winning proposition.

Tune into the episode for more tools to manage "the itch."  And if you're ready to take things to the next level, visit us at  There you'll see some of Kurt and Steve's top training programs...some of which are totally free! 

Direct download: Podcast_671.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:10pm CDT

Are you one of those sports fans that feels like the officials are conspiring against your team?  Everybody has been THAT sports fan at some point in their life.  As it turns out you may not be that paranoid.  A recent study shows that shorter NBA refs call more fouls than their taller counter parts.  The question remains though: is this due to a bad case of vantage point or a bad case of "small man syndrome?"  Check out the article here.  It's a fact, though.  We judge people based on height.  The fact that this transcends into sports is no surprise.

On episode 66 of Maximize Your Influence, Kurt and Steve discuss what all sales and business people deal with: rejection.  Dealing with rejection involves two key concepts: 1) how we think about it and 2) how we deal with it.  Having a healthy perspective on rejection and realizing that it happens to everybody, even the best, is where you should start.  Beyond that, there are various habits that successful persuaders get into that allow them to quickly move past rejection and even harness it to create more sales.  Check out episode 66 to learn more!

Direct download: Podcast_66.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:24am CDT

Persuasion is one of those skills that gives you a leg up on the competition.  When it comes to sales, there is no award for second place.  And advantage you can get goes a long way towards coming in first place!  Make sure you regularly tune up your persuasion ane influence skills.  These are skills that can atrophy over time if you don't use them.  And when you need to use's too late to learn! So why not use Maximize Your Influence to stay fresh!

In Kurt's geeky article moment, we learn what motivates people to pursue their dream job.  Because we all need money, most of us end up selling out our dream job.  But if it's something you really want, you need to have a vivid mindset.  Having a vivid, clear picture of your future will make you sink or swim.  This equally applies in sales.  If your prospects don't have a vivid and clear picture of what it'll be like to use your product, they'll say no.

Continuing on, Kurt and Steve wrap up the series on the 4 R's of Resistance.  The 4th "R" is "Representative."  In other's YOU.  Sometimes people will resist doing business not because of the product, the price, or something else.  It's just something about you.  This has been discussed at length on the show.  People do business with "better looking" people.  This doesn't mean you have to be a model.  But it is time to ask yourself some questions.  Are you dressing fashionably (but not over the top)?  Are you over weight?  Are you still sporting the same haircut you thought looked super cool in 1982? Take a hard look at yourself.  You want too look good...but not too slick. 

Beyond looking good, it comes down to rapport.  Increasingly, however, prospects are getting a lot better at sniffing out the "bs" that sales people throw at them.  The best way to connect is to initially prove your worth.  Once you do this, your prospects will subconsiously give you permission to connect with them and "shoot the bull" as they say. 

Direct download: Podcast_65.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:32am CDT

After discussing Kurt's upcoming visit to the Middle East, Kurt and Steve launch right into this week's article.  According to a recent article from Science Daily, toddlers who exhibit low empathy are in for a tough life.  The study says that there will be long term problems with aggression.  The good news is, it's not too late to fix it. 

After the article, Kurt and Steve get into the Third R of Resistance, which is "resources."  We're all taught in sales that we need to qualify our prospect.  Mostly this centers around money, but there are other resources that need to be in place such as time, support, staff, etc.  We know that most of the time when prospects tell us they don't have the resources, it's not true.  They've just learned over the years that lying about resources is a quick way to make you (the evil salesperson) go away.  When it comes right down to it, most of the things that we buy are not based on price.  Value is the key, and value is a perception.

What are your prospects comparing your product or service to?  This allows you to benchmark value.  You get to decide what they compare it to!  Be careful to choose what other products and services your compare and contrast your product with.  Do it right, and people will pay a lot more.  Do it wrong, and they won't pay you anything!

Direct download: Podcast_64.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:49pm CDT

Do you enjoy the Maximize Your Influence Podcast?  Learn more at  You'll have access to all of our top persuasion and influence training!  You'll get our 52 week persuasion mastery course, our persuasion university library, persuasion software (solves objections for you), and much much more!  

On this episode of Maximize Your Influence, Kurt and Steve discuss the second R of resources.  One of the main reasons we encounter resistance from prospects, employees, family, etc is due to perceived risk.  Whether it's time, money, respect, or some other resource, your prospect is not sure if what they are giving up to do business with you is truly worth it.  There's too much risk.  Sometimes they state this out loud...other time sthey feel it subconsciously.  Either way, your goal as a persuader is to get your prospect to feel like they have absolutely nothing to lose by doing business with you. 

Part of this is through creating involvement (see our earler podcasts on the law of involvement).  When your prospect feels like they are participating in the product or service they begin to feel that it WILL be worth it.  Get them started down the right road and they will typically want to finish.  This is typically done through some kind of free trial of your product or service.  Sure, when you offer a free trial people will periodcially take advantage of you.  However, implementing a free trial usually increases sales so much that any "free loaders" are totally worth it.

Another way is to establish a bold guarantee.  If you don't feel like you CAN guarantee your product or service, it's time to re-think things. What can you promise that will make prospects feel like they have a way "out" if the product doesn't work for them?  Remember, guarnatees are like free trials.  Most typically won't turn around and ask for their money back once they've purchased the product.  Guarantees more than pay for themselves! 

Direct download: Podcast_63.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:59am CDT

On this episode, Kurt and Steve interview the CEO of Entrepreneur on Fire, John Lee Dumas.  John is one of the most successful "virtual" entrepreneurs out there.  His podcast is by far one of the most popular business downloads on the internet.  He is known for producing massive amounts of valuable content and giving it away for FREE.  His audience is large and he has a very high level of trust with them. This allows him to sell hundreds of thousands of dollars of his products every month.  And even better...he documents it all!  His model of complete transparency allows him to cut right to the pain of what his prospects want and need.  He then provides it and makes huge profits in the process.  If you're an entrepreneur his show is a must!   Learn more by visiting 

Direct download: Podcast_62.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:02pm CDT

Direct download: Podcast_61.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:17pm CDT